Friday, December 23, 2005

Scrooge

I have been hearing christmas songs being played over the public speakers for many days now. In fact, many years. One song that i absolutely detest goes something like this. "Last Christmas, i gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, i'll give it to someone special....."
What the f**k is this bloody song about? If you ask me, it bloody doesn't make sense. Last year, if you chose to give your heart to someone, then the person muz have been special in some ways right? So who's to say this year, when you think this person is special, you would not feel that way again next year at Christmas.
Lets think about it on a logical level. The only reason why any sane person would give his/her heart away in the first place was coz you felt taht a person was special. That there was some sort of connection, or maybe even chemistry. And so, you decide to fall in love, and then it doesn't turn out right. SO you blame the other person for playing with your heart, and hurting you. And so, this year, you choose to once again, fall in love with another person that seems more worthy this time round, and judging by the track record, chances are, you will bitch about the fact that this new person broke your heart as well, and Christmas sucks.
Frankly, i love Christmas. Until many years ago. But i learnt a lesson this year. You know how people tend to look forward to Christmas coz it is a nice way to spend time with the people you love and all that? Well, what if the people choose not to spend time with you. Does it mean that you are not special to them? I made a conscious choice to over hype Christmas this year as i thought that i would at least be able to see someone special just before Christmas.
I made loads and loads of plans, thought of new ideas as to what to do to make the night we meet a memorable one. What things to give this very special person. And like a house of cards, it just takes a gust of wind to topple it all. We're not meeting anymore. And i ask myself, why i chose to make this one special person the highlight of my Christmas. For in doing so, i set myself up for disappointment. And well, it doesn't matter really what he gets me for Christmas anymore. Coz i only ask for one thing this Christmas. And that was his presence. Anything else i receive from him this Christmas, would not mean anything except a promise unfulfilled.
Blessed Christmas one and all

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