Price for everything

Let me start with my original post before i digress to something else. The topic of today is a price for everything. I guess this is why i came up with this topic. Not so long ago, or many moons ago, i was curious about this topic of prostitution. Now, why would i be curious about this topic? I'm not too certain myself. But anyway, when i was in uni, i did a research on this topic for sociology and i did write a damn good report on it. Got an A for my essay. And to add on to it, i did manage to meet many gorgeous and not so gorgeous woman who shared with me why they were into prostitution.
Now, many of these woman were poor, far away from home or basically just looking for a way to make money. Now, do i think it's wrong? Well, i don't think so. I spoke to this woman once, and she shared with me her experience. Her story is as such. She came from a single parent family. When she was 14, she had to leave school to take care of her ailing mother and retarded brother who needed extra care and medical costs for them were crazy. So she took to working at the night club to earn a fast buck. Sure she could earn some money working at macdonalds or starbucks, but working at a night club, she got more in tips alone for a month. Now, what was the price she had to pay for this? She had to endure with the man gropping at her, pretend to enjoy the company of the men she was with, and for extras, she got more. But she kept to her principle of not sleeping with any of this men. She wanted to save her virginity for her husband to be. She didn't mind being molested coz she needed the money. But, she refused to sleep with any men, although they offered time and again.
One day, her retarded brother fell ill and was admitted to the hospital. She had to take a few days off work to take care of him as the ailing mother was unable to attend to the brother in hospital. Sure the nurses and doctors were helpful. But they could not pay the bills. She applied to the government and asked for a subsidy, but no one really bothered. After all, she was a strong woman who could find ways to somehow pay the bills. If not, then she would just be broke, or worse still, her brother would receive no attention. Now, she was a rather plain looking girl, but being in the trade for long, she knew how to doll herself up and therefore could fetch a rather good price in the market. Also, people in the trade and men who had been with her knew that she had never slept with anyone before and therefore made her even more attractive then she really seemed. When the men around her heard her sob story, they all offered her cash. But with a price. It seemed like an auction at a marketplace when men started offering her more and more money to sleep with them.
This girl, desperate and alone, began to question why she held on to her belief of wanting to save her virginity for the man she would one day love. But driven by desperation, she soon caved. She gave in to this man who treated her right and gave her the promise of not just wanting to sleep with her but wanting to give her more in life. Provide for her mother and brother and help her find a job to get out of the trade. He declared to her that he loved her. She caved, they slept, and when she woke the next money, she found a cheque of $1000 by the bedside.
She was devastated. However, she learnt one important lesson that day. Promises were only words and that they didn't mean anything. After the first man, she never stopped. She carried on sleeping with men as long as they paid her the right amount of money.
What was the whole point of this simple and sad tale? I have come to agree with this woman i interviewed 5 years back that everything has a price. You can have the most pride in the world, but at the end of the day, its still about dollars and cents. If u were poor and begging on the streets and i offered u a million dollars just to sleep with you, would you do it? Or would you rather die of hunger on the streets? Isn't this interesting that at the end of the day, everything has a price?
Well, why did i bring up this tale and in what relation does it have to do with my life? Well, the fact is that i think i did something silly. For some time now i have been rather attracted to this man. Rather would generally be denoted as an understatement. However, i cannot figure out what is it about this man that attracted me. I cannot tell if it is lust i feel for him, or genuine love and affection. And thus, to eliminate one of the above, i asked to sleep with him. He outrightly refused me! Most recently, he acceded to my request but on his terms and conditions. I agreed but paid heavily for it. Nope, i did not pay him money to sleep with him. I paid more then just money.
Let me give you this example. If you were jobless and rather poor, with about 3000 left till you earned some good solid money, would you splurge 2500 on something that you might like? Now, i guess this question is rhetoric. After all, everyone has a different perspective about things. But i know i wouldn't. And yet, i did. Now as i think about it, i begin to feel silly. So does it mean that this guy has a price attached to him, well not in the literal sense. But that was the price i had to pay. Now would you think me silly? I guess so. I am rather surprised at myself and i guess if i could kick myself in the ass i would do it.
Linking back to my past postings, i guess i have a choice in everything that i do in life. Here, i made this one lousy choice, i can either feel real bad about it or make it the best i can. And i guess since i'm all spent, i might as well pay my dues and get my rewards. If i don't get my rewards, then i just take it as a lesson learnt. Yes. It might be a painful lesson, monetary and emotionally, however, remember that tomorrow is a new day. I guess you could take it as a lousy investment that failed. After all, the stock market crashes every once in a while. Not all investments make you money, not all funds are safe and most of all, not everything can be measured in monetary sense. Right?