Friday, August 25, 2006

Work on the small issues first

This one line was shared to me by a close friend. For a couple of days, or rather for some weeks now, i've been bothered and frustrated with an issue. The issue hasn't changed all that much. Since i started blogging, there has been someone special in my life. Someone that i really care about and i feel is real special. And yet, in the 20mths that i've liked this man, i feel like our relationship hasn't progressed. And what is the problem here? Is it me or is it that this guy is merely not interested and not keen in me?
I guess over the past few weeks, i've been hearing words like calibration... expectation.. and finally out of sheer frustration, i felt like i needed to write him a letter to tell him just how i was feel about the whole issue. I was about to start and when i told myself, when i finished writing the letter, it would signify the beginning of the end. And yet, there was a lot of uncomfort.I could not do what i set out to do. THe days went by and i never completed the letter. I had the dear.... and that was it. Maybe i was at a lost of what to write also. And then, i could not bring myself to do something so drastic.
There is a simple reason why this is so. I was not ready to let go. I could not end things between us should i not get my answers. Two school of thoughs here. I've spent so much time on this. If i gave up now, i could either be wasting time or not. And i was unsure. So, being frustrated and unsure, i had to voice it out to a friend just what i wanted to do. So in the end, my friend told me the topic header. Work on the small issues that are within your control and did not need you to involve your emotions first.
And this week, i start searching for solutions that will allow me to do just so.

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