Monday, March 31, 2008

Lazy Weekend

It was a lazy weekend for me. Didn't train at all, decided to take some time off to catch up with friends, run errands, hang out with the folks, go shopping etc. Spent Saturday out with dad, brought him shopping for a new watch coz he lost his watch. Bought myself a new watch in the process as well.. Hee
My new Timex watch. =)

Only sad thing was that i had to attend a wake. Terence's mum passed away. And went over to pay our respects and just be with him.
Sunday was also rest day. Wanted to run initially, but each time i put on my running shoes, it started raining. Although only for a couple of minutes. So in the end, i took it on good faith that i was supposed to be resting and not working out. So, stayed in and chilled at home.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Mahjong Day!!

Went swimming yesterday. Did 4 sets of 400m. All in horrid times. Felt i was pushing harder, but didn't seem to be swimming any faster. Timings got progressively worse. Ended with doing 300m of kicking and 300m of arm pulling. Wanted to run after that, but was a hectic day after that so didn't managed to. Went back to office to settle clear the cases before the last call for CPF cases was enforced. Managed to put in 3 cases just this week alone. So i suppose if i really put my mind to working, it is possible to average 3 cases a week. Although it was 3 really small cases, i guess it's better then nothing. =)
After office, rushed home again to meet up with dad to head down to Turf Club to help him out. Was a good night last night in terms of business. Almost made it a perfect night with pictures of every race, except one. So, i guess both of us were in a pretty good mood. Just as we were about to leave, Jon called and asked if i could play mj. Thought it was really weird that they still wanted to play coz he called at 5pm to ask if i was free. Then told him i would be only done at 10ish. And he called again at 9 to ask if i could make it at 11p to play. Hmm.. thought about it for a short while before agreeing. Hands were itchy. Haven't played mj in almost 5 months. And it's usually pretty hard to find kakis now for mj.
Anyway, reached shop at about 11.15pm and realized that Jon wasn't going to be playing. So it was me, Ian, and two of his friends. One of his friends was a really slow player and the night really really dragged on. Sighz.. Anyway, the rounds took longer then usual coz of the slow player. Jon came back mid way in the 2nd round and wanted to play. So we agreed to play one more round just for him. I was really tired by then, but didn't want to be a wet blanket. Plus i didn't have any appointments today and didn't have to head back to office, so i figured it's alright. Was a mistake. Was so tired that i didn't see the tiles correctly. Ended up throwing out a tile that i told myself not to throw. Costly mistake. Set me back $40. Anyway, ended up losing last night. And mj ended at 7 this morning. Was so super duper tired when i was driving home. Could barely keep my eyes open. Was even worse since traffic is usually horrid in the morning.
Reached home, didn't even have the strength to eat, despite having my last meal at noon the day before. But really needed to collapse on my bed and chalk up some sleep time. I knew my plans for working out was basically screwed for the day. Slept till about noon, woke up, wanted to go swimming, but body was aching, eyes were still struggling to keep open, so decided to skip the pool workout and just go for lunch. After lunch, came back to settle some personal work, run some errands and decided i needed to take a nap before going for training in the evening. But alas, i woke up at 7pm and that was the end of my training plans.
Went for dinner with dad instead coz he was upset. Spent some time chatting with dad, before coming home. Conclusion is no more over nighters. Feels as bad as having a hangover. And i suppose now that i've got pretty fixed sleeping hours, staying up late basically screws up my whole bio clock. But it was great to meet up and play mahjong again after the long long break!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Biking night

Whole day went well in general. In comparison to yesterday that is. Hee... But definitely feeling much better today!
Anyway, woke up early to try to fit in last night's missed swim session. Managed to hit the pool but didn't finish the work out. The swim just felt all wrong. Arm pull was horrid, kicking felt weird. I guess it could be due to the fact that i've hardly swam since the swimathon. I think like only 1 session from 2 fridays ago. Will make the effort to hit the pool more this week and see if the swim improves. But felt good just being in the water. So other then crappy swim, no complains there.
Went to meet the Trifam guys for biking in the evening. Arrived late, felt bad that everyone was already there and waiting to set off. Thank goodness one of the guys helped me pump up my tyres. If not, it would have probably taken me another 15 minutes. But he pumped the tyres with such ease. Better practice more on that as well. Eh, short ride tonight. Did a pseudo time trial. So more like maximum effort, minimum speed. The sort of training i like the best. Hee.. Even with running, i like track sessions best. Somehow, when doing speed workouts, training ends faster and earlier. Plus, you get to go back to the start point/end point faster. Was thinking about it, but maybe i don't like really long distances coz its too mental. Shorter distances doesn't let your mind wander. It's just pushing hard and you know that very soon, it's going to be over. Something like that lah.. Haa...
Anyway, finished the 2 loops of about 24km in 45min 55sec. I somehow felt it was probably shorter then 24km. Anyway, since it's the first time i've done it, i guess there is no basis of comparison. When i do it again, i'll know if i have improved. But one thing that pleased me was the average speed for that 20 plus kilometers, was a marked improvement from my previous rides. Was averaging 27.9km. Impressive even for myself. I so deserve a pat on the back.
Finished off with everyone riding in a group back. Sort of at least. I was still riding with Jerry. He's a great pacer. Went for a short run after biking. About 3km approx. Didn't really know coz i didn't have my ipod with me. Had stitches in the middle of the run. Somehow, i feel that every time i take big gulps of water before training, i get stitches. Maybe it's mental. Will test it out next couple of times and figure it out. This is no good.. I need the water, so i better condition my body to not get stitches. After i find out what is the cause of it of course.
Did slow run but definitely satisfied my craving to run. A couple of weeks back, i had a craving to swim. Everyday i had to hit the pool. If i didn't, i felt that something wasn't right. And now, i have the running craving. I guess sure beats having Ben and Jerry's craving any day. Short slow run, showered and off to dinner. Wasn't really hungry so the pathetic portion that the hawker gave was enough. I've finally felt inflation at it's worst. Price go up, portion goes down. Damn...
Once again, biking was a humbling experience. I still don't enjoy biking, but i definitely don't mind doing shorter distances like tonight. Eh.. looking forward to swimming and maybe hitting the track tomorrow evening to do intervals for running. Now, i really need to get my readings done before heading to bed. I'm actually quite tired after my fun filled day!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A day gone wrong

I guess the title is a little over the top. But this was exactly how i felt today. Woke up feeling tired and sore from yesterday's bike ride. Decided not to run today or swim in the morning coz was looking to swim in the evening. Managed to drag my very tired body out of bed to get some work done. Settled some work in my home 'office' before heading out to run some errands. Was trying to cram as many things to get done as possible in the shortest time possible, but still have stuff left undone. Wanted to go buy cycling gloves for tomorrow's ride and pop by to borders to buy this book that i have been eyeing. But didn't even manage to hit town. Sighz. So by the time it was 3pm, i had to head to office to meet my manager coz he said be in office by 3pm.
I made it to office 5 minutes after 3pm. Ok, so i was late. But imagine my surprise when i stepped in and no one was around. Guess i wasn't feeling too bad about being late after that. But then, i was worried a replay of last week's 'meeting' would be replayed. So i texted my manager and he said he was on the way. Today is the 2nd experience of him saying he is on his way. And the next time he tells me he's on his way, i definitely won't believe it. Finally, at 4pm i saw him. I did my best to quickly finish my portion of the work so that i could pass it back to him and rush off. Because of my errands, i had taken the van out and i had to pick mum up from office. I figured if i leave office at about 5pm, i could safely make it to her office in time and get back home, drop her off, pick up my swimming gear and head to the pool. I was actually itching to swim!
At 4.30pm, i had cleared most of the stuff i had to do. Only needed to talk to him for 5 minutes to settle the rest of the stuff. Things were looking good at this point of time and i was certain i was on track. Could even fit in a smoke break and buy a latte from coffee bean before heading to town. But alas, life seems to enjoy throwing me curveballs. A new manager walked in at this point of time. My manager wanted to introduce us, coz in future, we would all be sharing the new temp office together. After the round of introductions were done and some talking cok in the process, it was close to 5pm. I was starting to get a little upset by then. So i asked him really nicely if we could just sit and talk about the cases for 5 minutes so that i could leave. I specifically mentioned that i had something on and had to leave office soon.
So, he said, ok, sat down and just as we were about to get started, our GM walked in. She said she would like to talk to us for a short while. And so, left with no choice, i excused myself to call mum to let her know i would be unable to pick her up. And i felt bad coz i know she's not well and all and normally when i take the van out, i would go pick her up from work. It's one of those non verbal agreements. Her short while was really impressive. The next time my phone rang and i had to go pick up the phone, it was 6.15pm. Dad called to ask if i had picked mum up coz it was pouring rather heavily. Boy did i feel bad at that point of time. Damn...
After i explained to him the situation in the least words possible, i hung up and returned back for the supposedly short meeting. She went on and on, and finally, my phone rang again. It was 7.15pm. One of the trifam guys were calling to see if i was heading to training since it was raining. ARGHhhh.. I knew then that there was no way i could make it back home, grab my swimming gear and head for training. And that irritated the hell out of me. I can't explain why, just that i was so certain i was going to swim tonight. And it was not the rain or me being sick that caused me to not swim, but because this lady can't stop talking. So much for her, ' I don't believe in talking much. I like meetings to be short and to the point. It is not my style to drag a meeting on, coz i know you all have stuff to do.' Seriously, she said this to me the last time i asked her how long her meetings were so i could budget time and know what time to fix my next appointment if i have meetings on that day.
Maybe that's the thing with female bosses. Or maybe that's the thing with managers in general. The no 1 criteria to be a manager is that you must love the sound of your voice more then any thing in this world. Either that or you have to repeat yourself 10 times like how the kindergarten teachers repeat themselves. Hey come on, we're all grown ups here and when you say something once, i can remember. You don't have to repeat it countless number of times. Anyway, we were almost done by 7.30pm when a new topic came up. I remembered thinking, is this ever going to end. And by then, dad had called again asking if i would be home soon so that they could go have dinner, or would i still take some time such that they would walk out for dinner.
I knew it was raining, so i asked both my manager and GM if it was alright to end the discussion soon. Both said it'll just take another 5 minutes and so that was what i told dad. But obviously some people have a very warped perception of time. By 8pm, we were still discussing whether there was a need for a copy of the ic for cpf cases. I distinctly remember that it is a MUST for all cases. GM says no need, claims that she has never submitted a copy of ic for any of her cases. Manager says its a MAS requirement. GM calls some agents who agree that there is no need. Manager calls some other people in the industry who say it is a MUST. No conclusion was reached. Underwriters had long gone home by then. I was wondering why the hell i was sitting there listening to the two of them argue when i could be at swimming training.
Finally at 8.30pm, with no conclusion, i told my manager if he had 5 minutes, i would like to talk to him and have to leave. My talk with him lasted 3 minutes and i was out of the office. Not before he told me that probably from April onwards, we will be also doing credit card sales on Saturday afternoons. One less weekend. And the classic statement that i have heard so many times over the years in this business is, you shouldn't complain that we have to work weekends. After all, you're not married and don't have children. DUH! Like that is a good reason to burn my weekends. Eh.. like i need my weekends so i can date and maybe get married and have children?!? But its a done deal. I asked to do it on weekdays, but apparently the rest of them are all for weekends. What's with all these married people? Maybe secretly, all of them regret getting married and it's a fine way to legitimately stay away from home or from chores on a Saturday. Time slot for credit card sales is 11am to 7pm. Sighz Like my day couldn't get any worse.
I finally left office a few minutes past 8.30pm, called home to say i was on the way home. No one picked up my call. Called dad on his hp, and he said they were out having dinner, almost done, asked if i wanted them to pack food, but decided to go to the pool to meet the trifam people for dinner and hopefully pick up my livestrong wristbands that i ordered. Dinner was probably the best thing. Hanging out with real and nice people was probably the highlight of the day. Thank goodness the day ended in a decently positive note.
But as i drove home, i can't help but question whether it was the right decision to stay when the others all left. I missed my old colleagues everyday. Did i mention that my whole team and the other team we're sharing the office with is all Indian. And i'm now famous in HSBC coz i'm the only Chinese in that Indian team. Let me first say i don't have a problem with races. I've had many Indian friends over the years. It's just that sometimes, when they forget and switch to Tamil, i really do feel out of place. And most of them have known each other for years, as they came from an external company, it seems like i'm sort of like a sore thumb. I don't understand the jokes they share, partly due to the fact it's usually in Tamil and for the life of me, i don't understand Tamil. =(
Someone once asked me why i stayed on in the industry. And if you asked around, there are only two main reasons why people stay in the business. One is for the money. The second is because of the manager. When neither of the two apply, where do i go from here? I've told myself that i'll give myself some time to adjust or maybe my mindset is all wrong from the start. That i need to tweak my mindset a little and i'll be off. But of late, even i have realized that i've lost the passion to sell. I've lost the motivation to head into office, to submit a case, to be around in office to meet with colleagues, chat a little etc... I feel like i'm drifting further and further away from land.. when all i want to do is head towards the land...
Maybe when i wake up, things will look a lot brighter.. *cross my fingers......Nitez

Monday, March 24, 2008

My Good Friday weekend

It was an interesting weekend with friends from out of town here. I remember 2 years back where we went to Philippines and we were all out. And 2 years on, they are all here to meet up and chill out! We all met at Yan Bin's shop for dinner. Then after dinner we sat around, chilled out after the wives and children had gone back to the respective hotels to shower and pack. 3 families were leaving on the 9am flight, leaving only 1 family in Singapore. Then after sitting around for an hour or so, we split into 2 groups. Maurice and Jamie left to pick up some of the wives and children to go to Mustafa to do some last minute shopping, while Pic, myself brought Hansen, Edwin and Jos to Luna. It has been 4 months since i last went to this night sp0t and 4 mths can really make a huge difference. The Zzzz Monster came knocking at about 2am. And the best part was i fell asleep while the band was playing! Don't get me wrong, the band was fine. Music was great. I guess it was mainly due to the fact that by then, Yan Bin and Jamie had come to join us and i was no longer needed to play host any more. And so, while i was sitting there listening to the music, i became more and more tired.



(Clockwise from top left hand corner: 1) The families at Yan Bin's shop after dinner, 2) Jos, Me, Hansen and Edwin at Luna, 3) Two years back at Philippines with our friends and 4) The same gang but in Singapore this time.

Needless to say, i didn't manage to wake up to get to longhouse by 5.30am for the morning ride as i got home at like 4am. I had a short debate as to whether i should just stay awake and head out in 1/2 hr time. But i suppose my bed won out in the end! =) Didn't do beach swim as well coz by the time i woke up, it was 2pm. Maybe that's one of the reasons i don't party as hard anymore. I suppose something has to give. Spent the rest of the Saturday in a blur. Didn't help that it kept raining and thus stopping me from going out. But managed to clear up the room a little and put up the mirrors in my room! I now have mirrors which means i have no more excuse not to comb my hair before i head out!
Sunday came mighty early for me. Because i had slept way too much on Saturday, i woke up by 5am. Riding was supposed to be at 7.30am. Was worried if i go back to sleep, i would oversleep and miss training once again. And i wasn't ready to do so, coz i haven't been cycling much this week. So, got my ass out of bed, cleaned up, changed and decided to head to East Coast early. Went for an 8km run before meeting the guys to cycle. Pace of the run was much slower then i would have liked, but i guess i've never really been a morning person. At the same time, it was an slow easy run, which made sure i still had fresh legs for the biking part. Did about 70km, which is by far the longest biking trip i've done and although the slopes were a killer for me, i really did enjoy the rest of it. Coming downhill was great fun and damn 'shiok'.
Met some other athletes at F2 carpark and i'm very impressed by a lot of them. I think it takes a lot of dedication and commitment to stay in a sport that takes up a lot of your time. That's the difference between picking stamp collection as a hobby as compared to collecting finisher t-shirts as a hobby =P Went for lunch after that and finally head home for a nap before getting some work done! So all in all, it was a great Easter weekend for me.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Another day

Nothing much happened today. Nothing much to write. Nothing interesting happened, nothing got me up.
Conclusion, is i'm still a little down. Training was a short run, i think it was 7.5km. Not sure. Didn't bother to start my ipod. Did slope training today but didn't do all 5 slopes. Finished at 4, saving my legs for biking tomorrow morning. The long weekend should be interesting. Hansen, Lester and the boys are in town. Supposed to be out with them tonight partying, but i begged off coz i was quite tired. Will probably join them tomorrow evening for a wild night before they head back to philippines.
Funnily, the run today did nothing for me... Maybe tomorrow after my bike, i will go for a LSD and see if my mood improves.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

A little down

It was a day of mixed feelings throughout the day. But in the end, the dark side won over. I woke up really early to head to office. Only to find out that the meeting got postponed from 10am to 4pm. Best part was no one informed me! How difficult is it to pass the message along where there are only 4 of us. Sigh. Then went to meet a friend for lunch. It was an interesting lunch i must say. New experience. So that got me up for a while. But only briefly. Somehow, something felt really wrong. And i just couldn't place my finger on it. Decided to head back home to get some work done before heading back to office again at 4pm. And while i was on my way home, i passed by Guardian's place. It's really weird. Everyday, on my way to office, and back, i will pass by his place. And for the last couple of months, i have not been bothered to look out for his car at his carpark. Or look up into his place. But somehow, today, while i was driving past, i slowed down some to see if i could spot his car at the carpark. I didn't. But yet, abt 5 minutes later, as it started to pour, i saw his car in the lane right next to mine. Talk about coincidence. There was definitely another girl in his car. And i guess it rubbed me in the wrong way. Yes i know, we broke off months ago. And yes i know, that we're better off not together. But i still can't seem to describe the series of feelings i went through when that happened. Anyway, i texted him to say hi, and he replied me by saying bye. Sighz.. I really dun know why he blows hot and cold constantly. Clueless. But he did call some time last week. Think he either heard from a friend that i was sick or read from my blog that i was sick. And he did call. And it was sweet while it lasted. I know i'm a sucker for him. But i really can't help it. =(
Of course his 'bye' sms affected me some. But i stuck to my guns and got some work done, doing my best to distract myself with the mountain of work that i had in front of me. Couldn't run or swim due to the rain. Finally at 3pm, i changed and decided to head back to office. When i got downstairs, just as i got into the car, my manager called to say the meeting will be moved to 5pm. And so, i went back upstairs once again to try to get more work done. But of course, since i had shut down my computer, my laptop and packed everything away from my table, i was in no mood whatsoever to get any work done. So i basically lazed around at home waiting for the hour to pass. And when i once again got ready to step out of the house, my manager called again. And ask if i could meet at 6pm instead. ARGHHHh
What bad time management on his part! What was i supposed to say? Anyway, i told him i was fine with the time, just that i had to be done by 8pm coz i had a dinner date already. And no way was i going to cancel on my dinner date.
So, it was finally 5.30pm, basically wasted 2 hours away, coz i switched on my computer and just got stuck in front of it reading some useful and some useless stuff. And guess what, at 5.30, he called once again to say he is still stuck with the stuff he was doing and wonders if i could meet tomorrow. Gee... He's the manager. Could i say NO?
So basically, my mood by then was already horrid. But kept telling myself that i had something nice to look forward to tonight. It's been a some time since someone asked me out for dinner and i actually looked forward to it. So, at 7.30pm, i got showered and got dressed once again, slapped on some make up and headed towards town to meet TG.
Only to have him text me as well to ask if we could meet at 8.30pm at our usual jap restaurant instead of at 8pm. Argh... why aren't people able to keep to their timings.. Since i was already on the way, i decided not to head back home and just sat at coffee bean to have a coffee and write some thoughts out. And at 8.25pm, i received TG's sms saying he is just leaving office. Sighz.. So waited some more and finally, he reached. By then it was close to 9pm and surprisingly, the jap rest was full. And he could still ask me why didn't i go in and try to get a seat first. Eh, first i look like an idiot waiting for you to turn up. Second, i always have to sit by myself waiting for you to turn up. Anyway, we decided to head to our other usual place for pasta instead.
it has been 86days since i last saw TG. Easy to count since i saw him last two days before Christmas. He has been really busy and so have i. And so, although we tried to meet up a couple of times, timings were always wrong and TG has a tendency to call at 5pm to ask for dinner at 8pm. And usually at 5pm, i have my plans pretty much laid out and confirmed already. So dinner was a nice simple affair that set him back about 80bucks. We spent some time chatting and catching up and there is something about him that i can never stay angry with him no matter how hard i tried.
Dinner was a salad, a pizza and calamari. Plus, really really good dessert. Of course i didn't have food in mind. I was more excited to see him and chat and catch up. I've honestly missed him. Not in the same way that i ache for Guardian. But i miss his presence in my life like a good friend or brother or uncle. I enjoy the times we spend and i always feel happier just seeing him. So why am i still down? Anyway, the dinner date went well. I'm cheating coz i know with TG it's not fair to call it a date. But what the heck... Dinner was fine, coffee was fine, dessert was fine, red wine was fine. So what went wrong?
He drove me back to pick up my car coz i left it parked at the jap place. And he asked, 'Are you going away this year?' Actually, this conversation started at dessert time. He asked. And so i said i thought it would be nice to head to bangkok this year rather then go back to Hong Kong again. Then he said, BKK is boring. So i suggested a couple more places and he was so super duper picky about the places. Finally, i asked him, why don't you decide where to go? And he said KL. And i said, didn't we just go KL last year for my bday? Can't we go somewhere different? Then i said, not like you are able to take a long leave to go away on a holiday together, so actually, BKK sounds good. Spend 2-3 days there and i can stay another 2-3 days and shop.
While we were in his car, he once again asked, so have you decided where and when you're going to take a trip this year? And so i asked him the same question i asked at dinner.. Are we going away for my birthday again this year? And he asked me if i wanted to have a party with friends instead? And so i asked the most obvious question that came in my head. Eh, can't we go away before that or after that and then still have a party and dinner with friends? Then he said he wanted to celebrate for me alone. So i said, oki, then we'll do the trip, and i'll celebrate with friends on my own. Just like what i did last year. Then he said, but you didn't have a party last year, you celebrated with Guardian last year. ARGHHHHH men..... So anyway, i told him, why don't you go check your schedule and let me know if you have any slots free so we can go away. And he asked me the question that irritated me the most. Eh, when in April is your bday? SIgh... So i told him, every year, you ask me when my bday is, not tired ar? Then he said i'm sure it's in my phone.. so the guy picks up his 3 phones, goes through them and says, i don't know why it is not there. Then ask me don't be so petty and tell him when my bday is.
Anyway, by then, i was already in a crappy mood, so i said, my bday is on a wed this year, thur is a public holiday, so effectively, if you take fri leave, and we leave on the night of my bday, we get a long weekend. So fly off on wed evening, back on Sunday. That gives us 4 solid days. But, i was irritated by then, and so when he said he would check, i said, forget it. I don't want to go away this year. Let's just have dinner if you remember.
Ok, i know i am very petty. And i am rather unreasonable. And it is totally not TG's fault that i had a rotten day and Guardian irritated me. I know he has and always is patient and takes most of my mood swings and crap. But somehow, today i just didn't feel like being nice and giving in.
Somehow, i feel i'm quite bad at handling my emotions. Especially when it involves Guardian or TG. Sometimes i wonder why TG puts up with me. In his words a long long time back, he said, i have to pick you up, bring you to dinner, pay for dinner, send you back and still take crap from you... Hee.. Oh well, maybe that's why i adore him.. coz he knows sometimes, i just want to have my way. And if he can give in to me, he would. And he forgets that i give him shit pretty fast.
Alright, going to bed now. Still very full though.. Just ramblings today coz i'm not in a very good mood. Tomorrow will probably be better... =)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Cycling

Went to join the trifam people for a ride in the evening. It was a tough call for me really. Tuesday's my running day and cycling would mean i can't run with the TP people. Hmm.. But i figured i really needed to clock the mileage for my rides. Among the 3 disciplines, cycling's the toughest for me. Maybe coz i never used to ride before. So, i suppose, it made more sense for me to join a group to bike then to run. But i did manage a short run before riding. So i guess my ipod is pacified. It has not clocked any mileage for 3 weeks. Hee
Cycling was a very humbling experience. It was even worse then when i first started running or swimming. I was so far off the pack of cyclist that when i was just 1/4 way done, the rest were 3/4 way done. And i was pedaling as hard and as fast as i could. There were times where i felt my head was going to burst from the lack of oxygen going into my body. And the fastest speed i managed was just 31km/h. Lasted about a minute. Haa... I did my best, and i tried not to take any of the short cuts, although i probably did for my first round, coz i didn't know where to turn. And this guy told me to turn and i did. Will do better the following week i suppose.
It was a great workout really. Except at the back of my mind, i'm really wondering if it is possible to ever be as fast as those guys. How many times a week do they train? What kind of training do they do? Guess it's time to head to the bookstore or library and get some books specific to biking and find out more and incorporate it into my training. I figured it makes lots of sense coz in any triathlon race, from sprint, to OD, to ironman, the bike leg is really the longest. Need to work on getting my bike fitness up as well.
Was really thankful to Jerry for riding with me and watching my back. But honestly, i felt really bad. I better improve faster. If not, he is unlikely to get any better as well. He has been really motivating and encouraging from our runs at TP to my first cycling experience today with the ENR people. Well, i suppose we could always do with a few more people like him in this world. And yet, i feel bad coz when people show up for training, they generally want to push themselves so that they get better. If he is constantly riding slow just so he can watch my back or take care of me in both cycling and running, then i guess it's not really fair to him. ARGHHHHH.. better train harder. Will head to borders or kino tomorrow and see if i can find anything about biking. I'm totally clueless. Not even sure which gears i should engage.
Went for dinner with some of them after cycling. Lots and lots of food it was scary. Then again, i'm one of those weird people that usually don't have appetite after training. But when i get back home and lie on my bed, like Now, i feel hungry.. =P Anyway, all in all, i had fun. It was refreshing, humbling and a great experience. Will i go back for more? Probably. If i can get the van....

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Raffles Girl

Went for swimming training this evening. Did 1*300m, then 4*350m. Followed by 4*50m (25m choice stroke, 25m free) 70% effort. And end of training!
But a statement was made during training today by one of the swimmers. Actually it's the first time i saw her at training. Other then knowing that she is rather good, and a national athlete, i do not know her all that well. But one thing we had in common was that she was a Raffles girl. During training, while we were chatting in the middle of a set, she made this comment. How come the rest time is more then the swim. Frankly speaking, i would suppose a statement like this would piss some people off. But as with everything, i see two sides of the coin here.
To speak for her, i would totally agree with her. Training is just training. What's the purpose of going for training? To work out and get better at whichever sport we do. And if, at training, you're not pushing yourself hard, then obviously you won't see results or improvements. Or you might see results eventually, but with a longer time frame and curve. So i guess if i put myself in the shoes of a serious athlete, who came down to train, then i would be pissed as well. And i would be rather upset that here are bunch of athletes who are spending more time talking then swimming. Probably like how i felt after one of the beach swim session we had.
To speak against her, then i suppose she could have choosen to swim in another lane if she felt that we were not all that serious about training. I guess to a certain degree, i felt it was disrespectful to be saying that to the coach, given the circumstances of which this training was about. Here was a guy, who gave his time freely, to get a group of people together to train. And he doesn't even get paid. He does it out of his own good will. So, i suppose if she was unhappy, she could have left at any time or not turn up for swims in future.
But i guess the incident was carried over to dinner where we did touch a little about the Raffles girl. Xiao Ying and I are both from Raffles. And there is a part of me that can really understand why she said what she did. I suppose it stems out from the fact that i went through a Raffles education program. In school, we were thought to think and more importantly, to speak up when things weren't right. We were thought to do our best in whatever we chose to do. At trainings, i remember we pushed ourselves hard. There was no such thing as failing. I remember in sec3, when we were training for cross country, the team would get together to run before school starts. And that was like at 6.30 in the morning, so that we could clock at least 5km before morning assembly. And we did that not because our coach asked us to, but because we all wanted to win.
Excuses and slacking off wasn't tolerated. And everyone had a high standard that we aimed to achieve. That was also the year where we felt that we had a remote chance of winning the cross country title. But that was how we were brought up to think.
And so, the Raffles education really brought out the best in most of us. And that is evident from the number of high flyers we see and the high number of people who succeed in their own field. It was being told that we were the best, the cream of the crop, that we would one day be very successful and we were all going to be leaders in our own field. More importantly, it was a point that was driven home by almost every teacher we had. Daughters of a better age. But i guess what was flawed in the Raffles program was that we weren't taught to be empathetic. We weren't thought to be considerate to the feelings of others and those around us. Being empathetic was a sign of weakness. Was there really ever a good reason for not doing as well as expected? Was it merely an EXCUSE? And while we were taught to be the best, we forget that around us, there are those who are not as fortunate as us girls. There are those whom, if given the right opportunity and chance, might be better then us. But the flip side is, we generally think we worked our ass off for it anyway.
So, i guess the debate will always carry on. For myself, i have toned down a lot since my secondary school days. I'm no longer as arrogant only because i have come to understand that there will always be a bigger fish out there. I can be the biggest fish in my little pond, but when i move to a bigger pond, there will be a bigger fish. And often, it is better to be humble, and to learn from others. Pick out the stuff that you like and improve on them, and discard those that you don't like. And being empathetic is not an excuse for me. It is being able to understand the situation and circumstances that others are in. Of course, it doesn't stop me from giving my best coz as long as i carry on and not tolerate excuses from myself, and set my standards high, i can still be great at what i do.
To end this note, i need to clarify that i have totally enjoyed my Raffles education. And if i could go back in time, i wouldn't change it for the world. If i have kids one day, i would want to put them through the same education i received if i had a chance. But of course, i would also teach them about dealing with people. And failing once does not mean being a failure for life. And that end of the day, it is one thing to be successful, great, talented, smart etc, and yet, it is still important to be humble and willing to learn and listen to others.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Sundown Swimathon

Sundown Swimathon was an event held by NTU lifesaving corp for Charity. And i was there! Yup! The swim event started out at with dinner at 8pm, and the briefing at 8.45pm. We were flagged off at 10pm for the start of the swim. Supposed to last till 7am in the morning. So it was a 9hr swim session. We registered ourselves as the Tanjong Beach Swim Team, with team members from Trifam.

Team Tanjong Beach (left to right): Chen Munn, Me, Ling Er, Andy, Toh Min

Our group was really a mix a match really. And prior to the event, we had two swimmers pull out. Luckily for us, Andy and Ling Er stepped up to the challenge if not, we would not have been able to take part at all. So the plan was for us to take turns to swim and finish as many laps as possible. Our initial target was to do 20km as a team, that means each of us were supposed to do 4km. Our primary aim was to complete the event and have fun! We were definitely not a very competitive team.
It was a first experience for all of us, swimming through the night, and doing so many laps in one session. But we're glad we completed it and all had fun.
Started out with doing 500m sets. So it was 10 laps each, before the next swimmer takes over. Munn started as the first swimmer, Ling Er carried on, then Toh Min, Myself and finally Andy. The first 10 laps was probably everyone's slowest split. But we took it as a warm up and carried on. We got better and by the time it was 00:30hrs, we had completed 69 laps between us. That worked out to about 6.9km. At that time, there was a leaderboard, and we were 3rd from below. There was a total of 16 teams that took part, so we were 14th at 00:30hrs. And as the night wore on, many were starting to tire. We were starting to get hit by the Zzzz monster when it was close to 3am. And at 3am, the next set of laps were being counted. We were still 3rd from the back and we managed to do 68 more laps in that 2 1/2 hrs. So at that time, we already knew we were on target to complete the goal which we had set for ourselves.
And i'm super proud of my team. Coz in the next 2 1/2 hrs when everyone was super tired and really struggling to keep awake, we managed to up our pace and did even more laps. We did change our strategy though, as we noticed that it was getting colder and some were being to feel more tired. So, we did sets of 400m, then 300m then 200m. And we played around with the numbers so that it would not be as boring. And finally, when 7am came, our team as a whole had completed 24.4km. Ahead of the target we had set for ourselves. Munn, Ling Er and myself had swam 5km each and Andy and Toh Min both did 4.7km. So, everyone had managed to swim more laps then when we had targeted. Our final position was 13 out of 16 teams!


Pictures courtesy of Janice our only supporter who doubled up as our photographer!

I had a great time at the swimathon. It surely was an experience for me and for some of the other team members. Swimming at night is no joke. The air was cold, especially since it has been raining for the last week. The water was cold at 2am in the morning. We were not only fighting with muscle fatigue, we had to fight the Zzzz monster off. And we still managed to do better then our set target. Great job guys!
Some things i would probably like to improve on for myself is my swim technique and also my endurance underwater. But for now, a good job well done everyone!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Updates

Its been days since i last blogged and have missed doing so. Thought i'll drop in to give a couple of updates. No training this whole week as yet because of the dreaded rain. I am slightly irritated by it right now. How can it rain for 2 days non-stop in March? That is so wrong. Was sharing with some friends whom i met for dinner last night that i used to be able to ride my bike from March to Novemeber minus the occassional rain. Last year, from July onwards, i didn't ride as much coz the weather was mostly unpredictable. No more sunny days! And that gets me upset! I love sunny days. Don't mind running, swimming, biking and riding my baby in the scorching sun. But the rain... Oh.... Irritating. Although truth be told, if not for the fact that i just recovered from flu, i quite enjoy running when it drizzles. The feeling of the rain lightly tapping on me has a calming effect. And not only that, the air always smells fresher when rain is around the corner.
But with the swimathon coming on Friday, i'm worried that i have not been swimming all week coz of the rain. For the record, i know i am going to get wet eventually when i plunge into the pool and swim, so it doesn't really matter if it's raining or sunny. But it generally feels colder when it rains. And that's why i always make it a point to swim on sunny days. Of course, if the rain persists, i might just FORCE myself to go to the pool later. Guess if this keeps up, there'll be no run this evening as well. Haven't ran for close to 2 weeks. This is unacceptable. Sighz
Met the Samba kids for dinner last night. Actually not really Samba kids. about 7 of us turned up for dinner, Xuan, Jiahui, Suan, Banz, Debs, Dylan and myself. It was a nice catching up session. More so coz Debs just announced that she is pregnant. And i had a great time catching up with little sis Xuan as always =)
Samba girls(3 of us anyway)
Then went off to meet the guys and girl who would be doing the swimathon together this Friday. Settled some logistics stuff and basically just had a discussion on what to bring, wear and food that we need. Keeping my fingers crossed and will be praying hard for it to not be raining tomorrow evening. Already swimming in the night would mean lower temperatures. And cold is something that i'm not very good with. I'll still swim of course, but nothing beats having a nice weather.
So basically, that has been the week as a whole. Moved more stuff back from office over week and set up shop at home. There's a major reshuffling going on in office and have been told that in the not so far future, we would be moving office. Our current room is going to be acquired by another team. And everyone shares tables in the new office coz there's too many people and too little space. So i figured, basically, i go into office just to print stuff and submit cases. Other then that, i don't spend all that much time there. Why not buy a printer, bring the laptop home, and i can effectively work at home. So when i went to the IT fair on Sunday, i bought myself the same printer that i use in office, and now i can safely say i can work from home. Will take a picture of the revamped room later. Once i manage to pack everything up properly.
Well, that's about it for Sunday till today. Will post pics up later.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Fav verse

Have been meaning to put this up for the longest of time. Not sure if i've ever put this on my blog. But i remember this used to be my favorite verse while i was in competitive sports.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
And young men stumble and fall;
But those who hope in the LORD
Will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary,
They will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:30-31

IT fair

Woke up late in the morning and decided to head with Dad to the IT show at Suntec. Despite his warnings, i decided to try my luck at Suntec to see if there would be parking lots. And while we were coming down Sheares Bridge, i knew it was a mistake! But managed to cut out to head towards Bugis after 10 mins. So it wasn't really too bad. Found a lot, and walked over to Suntec instead. Decided to give ourselves 4 hours and i remembered telling dad, it was more then sufficient to finish seeing the show.
Grabbed lunch quickly and headed to the convention centre! Oh my, it was so swamped with people it was scary. But all in all, we still managed to walk around despite the crowd. And 3.5 hours was really not enough to cover the whole place. But i did managed to buy myself a laser printer and a digital camera.
My new toy!

Sunday, March 09, 2008

The Water Horse

Went to catch a movie last night at Marina Square! Has been a while since i last watched a movie. Maybe the last time i caught a show was in November 2007? Hee. After i came home from the Tanjong Beach swim and morning cycle, i slept for like 4 hours. Then woke up around dinner time and decided that i really wanted to go out and catch up with friends. Something that i have not been doing for a long time already. So i texted Superman to find out just what they were up to and decided to go watch a movie together.
The movie was pretty interesting, and heart warming. Although the ending was a little off from my expectations. Not as in a twist sort of thing, but rather it was a little anti climax. Anyway, it talks about a little boy, finding an egg, that hatches into the water horse. And a friendship is forged between these two unlikely duo. I guess what was sweet in the show was the contrast of how such a huge creature was actually very gentle.
Headed back to chill out and chat with Superman and wife after that before heading home. All in all, i would say it was a nice break and enjoyable activity after not watching movies for a while. =)

Saturday, March 08, 2008

The week on a whole

Was sick, so missed Singapore Biathlon. The week on a whole was crappy. The flu refused to go away, so i was forced to take and extended break from training. Which irritated me to no end, coz i kept thinking all the hard work the past couple of months has effectively gone down the drain. Sighz...
Had my first agency meeting this week. Tues i think. Wasn't too bad. In fact i was rather looking forward to it. Which was funny coz i've never thought i would miss agency meetings. But it was good coz we've finally sat down and talked, i've finally found out who my new colleagues are. 4 of us in the team so far. And i'm the only Chinese. The rest are Indians. I'm sure this is God's way of teaching me to be tolerant of other races =P
I've also sorted out my clothes cupboard, went IKEA and bought some stuff to organize the cupboard, all my clothes fit nicely now and there is no longer a mess from the previous 'too-small' cupboard.
Bought my cleats and cycling shoes. Went for a cycle the other day. Was damn worried i would fall down, but didn't. Thank goodness. Went for a long ride this morning as well. Eh, my long ride is like 30km. From home, to bukit batok swimming pool, up bukit batok, to jalan jurong kechil, to dunearn road, to leonie road, to thomson road, to mandai, pass the zoo, pass by hillview before turning into bukit batok road again, and home. The roads were clear, as compared to the other day when i rode in the evening. Anyway, i woke up at 3.45am, left my place at 4.20am, and reached home by 7 am. Need to speed up, i just pray hard that cycling is like swimming and running. Mileage, mileage, mileage!
Was supposed to close a case this week. Last minute, the guy backed out! So i'm a couple of cases short for last month. Coz this guy was supposed to get 3 policies. One endowment, one insurance and his CPF investment. Sigh. Need to watch this roll over effect. If this keeps on, i'm going to have a huge shortfall towards the end of the year again.
Went for Tanjong Beach swim this morning. As usual, company was great! But, i suppose when company is good, you tend to spend more time talking then training and that is how i feel training went today! Every lap we did, we took almost a 10min break, coz people were chatting.. Sighz... Finished 6 laps, with lots of rest in between!
Nothing much left for this week i suppose.
Doing a charity swim next Fri evening to Sat morning! 10pm to 7am. To raise funds for the Singapore Children's Society. Team of 5 person to take turns to swim continuously! Should be fun i guess and still be able to play my part for charity.
Another wedding to attend next week!

Monday, March 03, 2008

Pissed with myself

I'm so absolutely pissed with myself. Of all days, i had to wake up in the morning with a stuffed nose and coughing my lungs out! I missed the Singapore Biathlon. And i was so looking forward to it. Why i fell sick? I guess i could come up with a couple of reasons off the top of my head. Not enough sleep and rest. The fact that i was constantly tired would have been indication to me that my body was stressed and needed rest. Maybe it was being garang and wanting to complete the 9km run in the rain on Thursday even when i knew i was already feeling a little unwell, rather then turning back and avoiding the rain. Hmmm
Wonder which was it. But all in all, i'm damn pissed off with myself coz there are no more biathlons for this year. Until end of the year for NIE biathlon. Sighz... Oh well, maybe a good time to improve my run and swim and to get the biking right.
Have been in bed all weekend, might go see the doctor tomorrow if the symptoms still persist. Damn i hate being sick!

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Target for Singapore Biathlon

Ok, quick note before i sleep.
Swim time: 36min
Run time: 1 hr
Transition time: 3 min

Finish run without stopping.

Off to bed!