Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Life Is....

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MORAL:

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Smooth roads never make good drivers
Smooth sea never makes good sailors

Clear Skies never makes good Pilots .


Problem and hassle free Life
NEVER makes a strong person
Be Strong enough to accept the challenges of Life

Don't ask Life , 'Why Me ? .
Instead say 'Try
Me!'

Friday, January 16, 2009

Struggling

It was and has been a very tough couple of days for me. I have been struggling, fighting myself each step of the way. And i have been so emotionally strung and grumpy more then i have had the chance to settle myself down for my own thoughts. I was pretty much amazed that i broke down a couple of times in the process. But i guess, i will one day look back and think, what the hell, it was all worth it. And for that, i keep telling myself to press on. It's my own battle to fight. And i have to deal with my own feelings. It has been a new experience really. And i can only hope that the tide will turn and things will get better! =)
Cheers

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

One door closes.....

Often i've heard the saying when one door closes another opens. I really hope for the life of me that it's true. One door has closed..... just wondering if i've missed the other door or am i still supposed to wait for the other door to open. In any case, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I hope this is it manz!
Sorry i'm being so cryptic. Not really in a mood to share at the moment. When the other door opens, i'll be sure to share! =) Wish me luck u all.
On a side note, still trying to recover from bronchitis. Hmm.. the new year sure hasn't started out for me. But what goes down must come up! Haha... I can't decide if i'm full of pessimism or optimism at the moment. I guess one of those limbo stages where i'm not even sure myself.
To YZ: If you're still reading my blog, i remembered a couple years back, you gave me a bookmark or car decal. Can't quite recall now. But on it, the words i'll remember.
TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE!
Cheers!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Poor Man's Paradox

Am i stuck in the poor man's paradox?
What is it? Stay tuned for more! Haha

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Nudge The Balance - Author Unknown

A 91-year-old woman died after living a very long dignified
life. When she met God, she asked Him something that had really
bothered her for a very long time. "If Man was created in
God's image, and if all men are created equal, why do people treat
each other so badly?"

God replied that each person who enters our life has a unique
lesson to teach us. It is only through these lessons that we
learn about life, people and our relationships with God.
This confused the woman, so God began to explain:

"When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not
always what they seem. The truth is often far beneath the
surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know
what is in their hearts. Remove your own masks to let people
know who you really are.

When someone steals from you it teaches you that nothing is
forever. Always appreciate what you have. You never know when
you might lose it. Never take your friends or family for
granted, because today and sometimes only this very moment is
the only guarantee you may have.

When someone inflicts injury upon you, it teaches you that the
human state is a very fragile one. Protect and take care of
your body as best as you can, it's the one thing that you are
sure to have forever.

When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are
alike. When you encounter people who are different from you, do
not judge them by how they look or act, instead base it on the
contents of what is in their hearts.

When someone breaks your heart, it teaches you that loving
someone does not always mean that the person will love you
back. But don't turn your back on love, because when you find
the right person, the joy that one person brings you will make
up for all of your past hurts. Times a thousand fold.

When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that
everyone makes mistakes. When you are wronged, the most
virtuous thing you can do is forgive the offender without
pretense. Forgiving those who have hurt us is often the most
difficult and painful of life's experiences, but it is also the
most courageous thing a person can do.


When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that
resisting temptation is Man's greatest challenge. Be vigilant
in your resistance against all temptations. By doing so, you
will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far
greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.

When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root
of all evil. Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter
how lofty they may be. Do not feel guilty about your success,
but never let an obsession with achieving your goals lead you to
engage in malevolent activities.

When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is
perfect. Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of
their flaws. Do not ever reject someone for imperfections over
which they have no control."

Upon hearing the Lord's wisdom, the old woman became concerned
that there are no lessons to be learned from man's good deeds.
God replied that Man's capacity to love is the greatest gift He
has. At the root of kindness and love, and each act of love
also teaches us a lesson.
The woman's curiosity deepened.
God, once again began to explain:

"When someone loves us, it teaches us love, kindness, charity,
honesty, humility, forgiveness, acceptance, and all of these can
counteract all the evil in the world. For every good deed,
there is one evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the
balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love
are not taught often enough, the power is too often abused.

When you enter someone's life, whether by plan, chance or
coincidence, consider what your lesson will be. Will you teach
love or a harsh lesson of reality? When you die, will your life

have resulted in more loving or more hurting? More comfort or
more pain? More joy or more sadness? Each one of us has the
power over the balance of the love in the world.
Use it wisely!"

Don't miss an opportunity to nudge the world's scale in the
right direction!

Pass this lesson of love on to those you love and those you have
hurt, and those that have hurt you, hopefully with each person
that receives this, there will be far less evil and a great deal
more love!

Author Unknown

Sick still =(

Went to visit the doc again coz i was struggling with the coughing. Didn't know coughing can be so tiring. Plus the fact that i hardly get to sleep a couple of hours before the urge to cough and try to clear the phlegm gets so overwhelming that i'm up again. Sigh.
Doc says i have acute bronchitis. So will take about 3-4 weeks to get well. Sighz... Am pretty tired of being sick really. But i suppose its one of those rare things you get in life. So i can only hope it's a one off and i won't be sick for the rest of the year already. Being sick is sure no fun. And now i'm thinking about how i'm going to be training for anything if this keeps up.
Yesterday was a mix of feelings really. I have no idea why i'm feeling the way i am. But i can only try to understand that i really do feel a little torn and mixed up. I've got a pretty good idea where i want to head to. Just not really sure how to get there. I tell myself that with careful planning and careful calculations, i will eventually get there. Hopefully i'm right. =)
Went for breaky with Baby this morning. Spent some time chatting which was nice. I really think i'm not cut out for relationships. But i don't want to dwell on it right now. As of this second, i can only think of the 1 million things that i have not done. Faint.. I need to start clearing my to-do list faster then i can add to them....

Monday, January 05, 2009

7 pounds

Watched 7 pounds earlier in the evening. Was a pretty decent show. I've hardly been disappointed by Will Smith's shows before. But honestly, after watching the Pursuit of Happyness, this show paled in comparison. Anyway, its a decent watch if you are content to be kept guessing and wondering what the whole damn show was about for about 3/4 of the movie. It could be partly due to the fact that i missed the start of the show. But i doubt it.
Shall not divulge too much of the show in case one of you reading this has not caught the show. But towards the end of the show, i thought it was a rather thought provoking show. Ok.. Forget about the fact that i was trying to figure out what the damn show was about for the first one and a half hour or so. But subsequently, it got me thinking.
Some thoughts that came out were how blessed we were. Who gets to decide on our own fate? And a whole lot of other stuff. All the introspective stuff you can imagine thinking of. Oh well, i'm off to bed now. Want to get well. So tired of being sick!
Nitez you all!

Sunday, January 04, 2009

The first weekend of 2009

If the last couple of days is an indication of how the rest of 2009 is going to be like, then can 2010 come by quickly please?
The cough has gotten worse. The flu is back in full force. Am i glad that the fever is gone. Anyway, had a not so good saturday. Started the day nice i suppose. Was chatting with baby early in the morning. Although, somewhere along the way, he said something that i felt was a little uncalled for. Anyway, i texted him to tell him what i felt. And since he didn't reply, i also didn't see a need to dwell deeper in the issue. Racing was alright i suppose. Felt a little touched that quite a lot of people noticed i wasn't around on the 1st. And showed their concern with regards to am i feeling better? Have i seen a doctor? Haha...
Alright, after racing, went to the dinner that i really didn't feel like going for. But what to do... Sigh... And the groom got drunk. But i suppose it was good he got drunk, coz if he didn't, i would never have known that superman did know about what happened between us. And i finally found out last night that he did know. I don't know whether it's a weight off my mind that he knows or i feel worse off. Pretty dramatic night for sick old me.
Came home after we all had a really really long talk. Crashed.
Funny, but considering my want for attention the last couple of days, i'm actually starting to feel a little, leave me alone sorta thing. Kinda weird and extreme really. But i hate the damn cough and am praying each day that i get better...
Anyway, nothing interesting about the weekend. 2009 has been crap thus far.. when is it going to look up?

Friday, January 02, 2009

2nd Day of the new Year

Was feeling super grouchy and gloomy when i woke up. With the coughing and fluing, haven't really been sleeping well. Sleep is mostly interrupted with bouts of cough and waking up trying desperately to breathe properly.
Didn't help that i wanted very much to see him, but he was not free. Or didn't seem to want to make the time. Anyhow, i felt better when Guardian and I were smsing each other. It was just one of those random, how is everything smses. But i felt better, and he sure knows how to cheer me up when i'm all gloomy and down. =)
Kinda silly but he sent me hugs over sms and told me i cannot be a grouchy bear. Haha... Ok, plus he promise to buy me a present after i recover. Actually it wasn't so much the present. Maybe it was the hug that he sms me. Just knowing someone cares when i'm feeling gloomy makes me feel so much better.
Met Jaja for brunch. She's sick too. Haha.. Two people coughing away over bruch. Pitied the couple sitting next to us. But it's good to know things are looking up for her and things have been well. I guess sometimes in life, we just really need to give ourselves a chance.
Anyway, spent the rest of the afternoon in bed reading and pondering about what my new year resolutions were going to be. Still haven't come up with anything concrete just yet. Still thinking whether i really need any new year resolutions.
Was a little disappointed he didn't call after work or at work or drop me an sms to check in on my knowing i was grumpy and sick. Had my own thoughts about him and about us in general. Whatever the case, it's 11 more days till his birthday. We'll see how things go from there....

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Happy New Year II

Was hoping after a good night's sleep, i would wake up feeling more cheery, happy etc. More in a mood to put up my new year resolutions. But, instead, i didn't sleep well all night, tossed and turned all night long, coughing and trying to clear the nose to breathe. Damn.... Woke up about 5 plus in the morning to take medication. And i'm almost done with my medication and i'm not well.
Was quite looking forward to go for the first racing of the new year. But just felt so lousy and so bad that decided to stay in instead.
Interestingly enough, he didn't go for racing too. Not sure if he is sick or just coz he is not really involved today. Whatever the case, i hope this is not an indication of the year to come. I think the last time i had a cough so bad was the 6mths of cough in 2003. Oh man... That was horrible. Clinic visits after clinic visit, hospital visits... and still not well... Hopefully this does not turn out like that...
As for new year resolutions, i'm still sitting on them. Will update again..

Happy New Year

Screaming, fighting, crying, banging, shouting. What a way to usher in the New Year. What's so happy about it really?
Ok.. give me some time to snap out of it. Maybe that's why in the past i refuse to stay at home. Maybe i'm just being a grouch. Whatever the case, to all the other happy and merry folks out there, wishing you all the best for 2009. God Bless!