Saturday, March 19, 2005


Cow finally replied. But what use is that. The conclusion was drawn long ago. I've been so tempremental lately that i think big brother is also getting worried. My mood has been permanently at the other end of the spectrum. You see, i really am at a lost. I feel so strongly. And yet, there seems like there is no other option.
Even the news that i've made it through auditions have only lifted my spirits mildly. It seems that bad news keep tumbling in. Dad has kidney disease. I'm so scared. I don't want him to leave me any time now. Why? Coz i'm selfish. Coz i love him lots and i'm not ready to take on the world on my own. I can barely stay afloat without him by my side. Its been more then a month and yet my heart is still hurting, aching.
i need to move on. Need to wake up and need the pain to dull so that i can live strong. Will that day ever come? I really hope so. Most of them can't see my pain, choosing to think that i'm so strong. That i have moved on. But who can see my pain? Who can see the strain that i'm under? Does life go on? Is there really another half out there for me that i have yet to meet? Or will another relationship just end up like this one causing the life of another innocent person? Is there really a prince out there for me?

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