Tired and all alone

I've tried many things over the past few days. In fact, i've gotten a new haircut, i've drank myself silly, i've tried dating a girl, i've tried being totally engrossed in my work, but none of it cures the dull pain in my heart. I still miss him terribly. To say that i was head over heels in love with him would be a lie. But i really did feel for him. So much so that i have come to accept him as part of my life. I told myself that i wouldn't call or sms. If he happens to walk back into my life, then i will accept that as an act of GOD. But, days have passed. He's not even trying....
You know, i feel so alone in this world. Everyone seems to have found a good better half.. Where's mine? Isn't there someone in the world for me? Someone that i can turn to to share my ups and downs, my feelings and basically just anything there is to share? Is finding that someone really so difficult? I'm so scared sometimes. I really have no idea where i'm heading. Everything that comes out of my mouth are just words that i speak to convince others that i am not scared. That i can handle everything life throws at me. But what if i'm wrong. WHat if i really can't handle it?
All week i've been trying to immerse myself with stuff so that i will not think about COW. Yes,... You are disappointed.. i'm still thinking about him. BUt i really can't help it. I've been up partying till the wee hours of the morning, i've been on time for work. Everyone can see i'm tired.. but i refuse to let myself free for even the slightest moment. As i know i will only wallow in self pity like what i'm doing right now. My eyes are heavy, and i need to go. I'm so tired. When will i ever feel better? Better be soon... i'm really tired