Wednesday, November 12, 2008

First training in a long while

Haven't done any decent training since Port Dickson which was in July. Faintz!
Shoulder aching like crazy after doing my first decent swim in a long while. Ouch!
Did 300 warm up, 1500 swim, 200 cool down. Only clocked the 1500 swim. Did it in a miserable time of 39min 46s. Which means i've lost 6 minutes from Port Dickson till now. Sighz... Nothing comes easy i guess.
It was a tough session but i'm glad i did it still. Funny how i kept contemplating giving up. At 10 laps, at 15, at 20. I suppose why it was tough was basically i couldn't find the rhythm. Breathing was off. And only started to smooth out by the time i was on my 22 lap. But, only for 4 laps before i started to feel the pain in my elbows and left knee. All in all a pretty lousy session. But i'm sure a couple more long swims will put me back in the game. So game plan is, a couple more long swims before i start doing sets. It's back to basics for me. Now really worried about the long bike ride that agreed to go on. Not sure with no fitness and all whether i will be able to cover 90+km of bike ride. Better start riding seriously this week too. The tyres are soft as it is, bike is dust covered.
Hmm... that leaves the run. Super reluctant to start running. Foot hurts since the last time i went to the gym. Knee hurts from swimming. Generally no inclination to run. Plus, mentally, i haven't gotten past the horrible experience of sundown and PD. 4km was as far as my legs would take me till date.
But i suppose since 70.3 is 5 months away, its about time i started training. grinz

On a random note, he asked that things be over. But somehow, maybe coz i really put in my heart into making us work, it still hurts a big deal. Not a minute go by that i don't wish that we could get back together. That somehow, he can look past whatever is holding him back to see the good that i have to offer. Seriously, all i have ever wanted was to help him and for both of us to grow. But i suppose what i emailed him is true. Better us be apart and him be happy then for us to be together and him be miserable. I suppose i really believed that he would hold my hand for life when he said those words to me. And maybe i really wanted to believe it. Naive? Or just wanting to believe whatever i wanted to believe? I'm not sure too... Maybe i'm the only soul in this world that doesn't let love die overnight? Or maybe it just has been dying and i was too in love to realize it. Oh well, i'm trying hard to be strong and to love myself. Maybe i'm just not cut out to be in a relationship, to be loved? Or maybe, i have a huge character flaw that i really need to work on. Sighz

No comments: