Have i changed?

If you're mad with someone , and nobody's there to fix the situation... You
fix it . Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend .
And if u don't, tomorrow can be too late .
(Shouldn’t friendship last a lifetime? If the person chooses to discontinue the friendship because of a quarrel, isn’t the person not worth being friends with? At the same time, friendship takes two hands to clap. If your friend values the friendship, the person is bound to approach you now if not at a later date when your friend is ready.)

If you're in love with somebody , but that person doesn't know...
tell her/him. Maybe today, that person is also in love with you .
And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late .
(If you are in love with someone, you want to tell the person only if you are certain that person will reciprocate that love. If not, you might lose a close friend/buddy in the process of telling the person that you are in love with them.)

If you really want to kiss somebody... kiss her/him. Maybe that person wants
a kiss from you, too . And if you don't kiss her/him today, tomorrow can be
too late .
(You can always kiss your friends can’t you? A peck on the cheek to tell them they are special and that you value them in your life. But a deep passionate kiss? What’s stopping them for screaming bloody molest or for them to stop going out with you as they do not return that affection?)

If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you...
tell her/him. Maybe that person have always loved you. And if you don't tell
her/him today , tomorrow can be too late.
(Love comes in many forms do you not agree? If a person you love has forgotten about you, then the person you love might be leading a life happier without you. IF you really love a person, set the person free.. And if you love the person, you will be happy just seeing the person lead his/her life to the fullest. Maybe its time for you to move on as well?)

If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it. Maybe they need it more
than you do. And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.
(Hugs and friendship are synonymous. There is no need to ask.. I think.. hugs are spontaneous as well. And tomorrow is never too late for a hug.. Hugs are a every day thing..)

If you really have friends who you appreciate... tell them. Maybe they
appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go far away
today , tomorrow can be too late.
(Finally, one that I agree with. Friends are family that you choose on your own. Thanks for being a friend)

If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do it
.Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel. That if you don't and
they leave today , then tomorrow can be too late.
(Grinz. Two that I totally agree with, yup. Love your parents and show them you care. They are aging, and after all, you are here today coz of them.)

Above is a email that Tour guide sent me. And the green portions are my replies to him. My friends tell me i'm crazy to reply to a forwarded mail. Maybe that will deter him from sending me future emails. But, the email really affected me for days. I really couldn't accept the things that were said in it. You might say that's weird. Last time, i would swoon over the email and say.. oh how sweet, how beautiful. But now, all i can say its a load of crap that is used to con people into beliving that life is beautiful... Is life beautiful? Is it? Has life changed or has my perspectives changed?
Anyway, tour guide did not meet me at all and he has flown off yesterday morning. Meaning Tuesday morning. I have no inkling of an idea when he will be back. Maybe that is good also. If i don't know, i would never have to call or sms him. A good guage would be when he replies my disturbing email. Or he could think that i'm crazy and not reply. Oh well, you know, i really have a mix of feelings as to how i feel about him.
I met mad driver again. Its been almost 6 mths since i last met him. He's life has changed for him as well. But, i also don't know what he wants. But i know the hug was still the best. The only good thing was that this time round, the hug did not evoke my strongest emotions. I was emotionaless. Could it be that i have changed? Could it be that my heart has turned cold? Its not such a bad thing for the heart to turn cold is it? Remember the time when you were 11 and the heart was cold. At least i was strong like a pillar then. Goodness. Have i become a cynic? Do i want to?
My friends around me say i have changed. That i have become aloof. But, i tell them, i only want to concentrate on making money now. I don't mind chilling out or hanging out with a group of friends. But i don't want to be reliant on anyone. I want to be the ice princess once again. Superman called last night. He sounded so tired. I feel sad for him, but yet at the same time, i know i cannot do anything for him as he is too proud to ask. But i do know something. Ever since he has returned from his trip and all that has happened happened, i have stopped relying on him as much as before. I have stopped throwing my silly girl tantrums and i have stopped pestering him with my problems. He has his own set of problems. Is that good? I guess. Its time to be independent all over agian.
I'm not even sure if i'm saying all this because i'm not even sure what i want in life. Mad Driver said that in the time he has known me, i am a project based person. That's why i can never find my ultimate goal. As i am forever doing one project, going to the next. I've finally turned 25. Isn't it time that i've come to a decision as to what i want to do and establish my goals because of it? This takes thinking. But i'm not sure what i want to do. SIghz....
Life grows more complicated as you grow older. I know i have changed gradually from the tempremental young girl, to someone who is now hopefully more matured and thinks before i plunge into the deep blue sea. Till the next time.. cheers