The list

Did i always know that there was no list? There was no way to get on the list? Have you ever been to a premium club where everyone is queuing and you jus sashayed your way to the front and you just walked in. Wondering why all these poor souls are standing out here, dressed to impress but made to wait like there was no tomorrow. You felt good! Felt privileged. Felt like you were a part of the elite. Ever went to a restuarant and you had your name on the list and you walked in to take your sit?
Well, therefore, in life, the same things are reflected. Somewhere out there, there must be a list and it was the to dye for list where you would not only like to be on it. But rather, you want to be on the top of the list. Its synonymous to wanting to be on the top of the list in sports or to be among the top in school. There is a list out there somewhere. Whether it has been explictly spelt out or there is a imaginary list floating around....
But today, i realised that not all things have list. Good that most things have list. So we know just where we stand in life. Or where we stand in anything. Let's say there are a group of friends. Not everyone are the best of friends. You have your inner circle friends, your outer circle friends, your acquaintances and people whom you would rather prefer not being friends with. But at the end of the day, lets say person A. You have decided whether A is somewhere down the list or somewhere up the list. There must be a list. Or so i thought. Today i learnt that there was no list. There was no where to climb, up or down. Coz it did not exist at all. There was no way to get to the top of the list at all. It was like wanting to go to the snow palace so badly only to one day realised that it didn't exist. Like wanting to meet santa clause, the tooth fairy, harry potter. Being extra good when i was a kid just so that i will get pushed up higher on the list to meet Santa Clause. Only to wake up one night and realised that it was daddy and mummy who were giving me the presents and Santa didn't exist.
So if you put things in this perspective, then i guess, its alright after all. I mean, after i survived after realising that Santa, the tooth fairy, snow white, cinderella all didn't exist. So can i go on now that i know this list was nonexistential? Yeah! I believe so. And as long as i believe that, anything is possible.
I lived by this quote for a long time in my life
It is better to have fought and have lost then not to have fought at all.
Today, i learnt that some battles are not worth fighting. Someone told me this, choose your battles wisely. And for that, i thank him.