Have i done enough??

I'm about to go on a trip. And this trip had an agenda that i didn't know about. At first, i saw it on the surface, as any other trip. And i was in fact excited to be going away even for a short period of time, since i really have been rather bogged down with work. And yet, now that i have found out about the agenda, i am not sure anymore. There is a part of me that doesn't want to be there, doesn't want to put myself in a situation knowing that i will be upset. And yet, the other part of me wants to be there for him. To see him through what he has in mind and walk with him. But maybe the most important question is, have i done enough over the years or is this then a debt that i have to repay to him?
What's so amazing is that, maybe at the back of my mind i know the answer. They say a woman's 6th sense, gut instinct is very strong. Mine is no different i guess. When it comes to Guardian or TG, it is equally strong. And i am not in the habit of second guessing myself. But yet, when it comes to another person being involved, i tend to melt away and second guess myself. And that is where i keep asking myself, have i done enough?
I have loved Guardian for a very long time now. I did waver once and decide that it was finally time to move on, and he came back. In the months that he was back, i would be lying to say i didn't enjoy the times spent with him. I would be lying to say he didn't touch and melt my heart. Honest truth is he did. And i wanted to give in more then i wanted to hold out, maybe also coz i desperately wanted this time to be the time that things between us worked out. And yet, it would be the same theory applied to TG. If there was true love between us, then it wouldn't be so difficult to work out right? And precisely because there isn't and i am forcing an issue, thats why it hasnt worked out thus far.
A long while back, when i was in sports, and i didn't win the gold medal, i would ask myself, have i done enough, am i physically less capable or is it because i haven't trained hard enough. But with sports, its pretty straight and clear cut. But with love, the lines are less defined.
Today he told me, that things between him and this girl might never work out, or it might. And that since love is never 50/50, he wouldn't mind if he was caught in a 90/10 situation. And a part of me ached really. But love is never logical or is it? And when then, do i walk away and never look back? I guess i really need to put things in perspective. I am still unsure..
But fulfilling this last trip, would be where i draw the line about doing enough. Even if i have failed in anyway, i will attribute that to character flaws or physical inability. Coz i can only be that strong...