My thoughts

I should have not been born in this era. I should be born in an era where all i had to do was sit around and think and be profound. Life throws us lots of curves all the time. Why? Does anyone ever wonder why some things happen at all? Is it a greater divine force generating the things that happen around us? Or is it merely actions of certain people that make things happen?
Why is there fear? I need to read about that. Are people fearful for the power that they hold, not sure of how to yield that power or what diverse effects that power if unleashed would create? Or is it the lack of power that makes people fearful? Is it the lack of life and lack of survival tactics that make people fearful? Or are people fearful as they set in their routine. A feeling that they have grown on them. But what makes a routine? Was there one to start off with? I mean don't all children grow up to adults. Why is it as a child there is hardly any fear. But as one grows older, the fears suddenly mount. The numbers uncountable?
There was once a person i knew. Lets call the person Z. Z was surely a carefree person. There was not a thing that Z could not handle. The world could fail and i was certain that Z would have taken it in stride and walked forward. I asked Z once. Aren't you tired from being so strong? For being such a person. Is that the real you? Do you need love like the rest of us? Do you not feel? Or is it that you don't want to feel? Z had many friends. But yet, no one really close. Z could not feel for these people. Z would keep people at bay. That was Z's way of not getting hurt. But isn't it Z's fear of getting hurt that made Z react that way? So albeit the fact that i felt Z was not fearful of anything, in actuality, Z was afraid.
Many years later, i met Z again. Z had certainly changed. No longer was the person standing in front of me successful. Not that Z was no longer successful. Z was no longer a demi-god. Z had become human. For that i was glad. Z attempted to get to know me better this time round. But, it was then that i realized that Z had flaws. No longer that perfect person. I wondered if i could accept that. Z reflected upon life the way i constantly do. Embrace life coz there will constantly be fears. However, each different path a person chooses, there are different fears. Different things to tackle. Z had changed. Z had mellowed. But i ask Z, " Are you happier now as compared to before?" Z's answer shocked me," I was guarded then and i could not appreciate the people around me. I'm sorry i took people for granted then."
For a moment then, i thought that Z had truly seen the light. Z was a much nicer person now. At least at first glance, i felt that Z was now caring and more genuine. But as with all stories, there is always a part two. Z continued," i feel like i opened pandora's box. Out of sheer curiosity, i went to embrace a world that was foreign to me. And i don't like this world. I feel better in my other world. But i can't go back there. Why i'm not sure. But i can no longer walk back into that world. Just like the box, it's hard to put evil and all back in the box. What keeps me going is that one last thing was left in the box. Hope. But hope doesn't drive people. Hope only makes people desire for a past that is no longer around. Hope makes people react. But yet, when there is no hope, people despair."
I was shocked at Z's words. I said this in response. "Z, Hope came into the world for the very reason that you said. To give people some light. So that they will not despair. Why not look at what you have now. Compare it to what you had then. Is it better? Now that you've experienced two worlds, doesn't it make you a more perceptive person? If you are not quite happy with the current world, fine tune it. Make the necessarily changes. Don't harp on a past that is already gone. Look forward to making today better for yourself. Walking backwards does not promote growth in anyway. Walking forward is the only way to get to where you want to go. Unless of course you tell me that it's what's behind that is where you want to go. But if that is the case, how can you be a better or happier person if where you want to go was behind you? All roads eventually lead to Rome. Be bold, take steps and you will get to where you want to go."
I thought about what i said long after Z had left. Funny how i felt like Z in many ways. A colourful past moulded me into who i am today. But here at this point, it is fear of the unknown that stops me from progressing in tune with society. That stops me for searching so that i can be a better person. I know i can be so much better. I've travelled two worlds. But now do i know which world i like better? I make my own adjustments and i move on. Life doesn't end the minute you take a different road. And more often then not, taking the path less travelled brings many rewards. Coz that path still contain many more treasures that have not been discovered. Now at the crossroads, i have to make a choice. To go where many have travelled or to continue on this path less travelled. For that i turn to my heart. And i guess i've always known the answer.....