I met a ghost, but he didn't want my head, he only wanted to know the way to Denver. I met a devil, but he didn't want my soul, He only wanted to borrow my bike for a while. I met a vampire, but he didn't want my blood, He only wanted two nickels for a dime. I keep meeting all the right people-- At all the wrong times. (Shel Silverstein)
How apt. I like him, he likes me not. I really don't know how else to put it. I don't even know how to read this one. Uncle and Pete both tell me they don't figure me as someone who falls in love at first sight. I'm someone that needs to fall in love slowly. The person must look past my walls to see the person beneath. I've been looking for the same thing for so many years that now, i must have been so blended into my surroundings that i can no longer tell which is which.
Sometimes, i think in my bid to be a chameleon, i've changed so much that i've lost touch with my core. Is that how things work? Funny how i ask so many questions that i think if i could just stop to find the answers, they will all start to fall into place.
I spent the day reading today. One passage or rather one description stuck to me today. It's called the single bullet theory. All your life, you can fall in love and make love as many times as you can, but only one will stick to you and change your life forever. You can get shot many times, but only one bullet will take your life. As you can tell, this came from a crime novel. Alas, how true is that. I can't quite seem to decide if i've been hit by that bullet once before or not. Or this is the bullet. But i guess as with all things in life, i will only be able to tell on my death bed.
Its been 3 days and he hasn't replied to my email. I want to believe that he is busy beyond words. That he needs to think carefully before replying. Why? Maybe 'coz he really treasures me a friend and does not want to hurt me. But why make such a simple email so complicated? Is the world so complicated by nature or do we human beings complicate it with our actions and our thoughts? Oh well, its that time where i look into the past to find answers and hopefully urge me to move out of my rut. Bear with me
Desiderata
By Max Ehrman
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all people.Speak your truth quietly and clearly;and listen to all even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive people, they are vexations to the spirit.If you compare yourself to others you will become vain and bitter;there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.Keep interested in your own career, however humble;it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.But let not this blind you to the virtue there is;many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself especially do not feign affection.Neither be cynical about love; in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,gracefully surrendering the things of youth.Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,no less than the trees and the stars; you have the right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
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