Thursday, October 20, 2005

Concepts and idealism

A friend spent the night talking to me the other day. And it was an interesting talk as i guess many people in life are idealistic. In an idealistic world, i would be in control all the time. Control of my time, my actions, the way i want things to turn out and basically how i want it to turn out. In an idealistic world, i would be earning big bucks, spending time doing charity work with children and spending a lot of time reading. And i guess since i am earning big bucks, i would not have to worry about the lack of money. However, it does seem that we're not living in an idealistic society. Yes. The truth is that we are in control of every aspect of our lives. In a certain fashion, and yet, there are lots of things that are beyond our control.
Met another friend on Monday and had a great talk to her. It felt good coz there were so many things to talk about, so many plans to make. The last time we made such comments was when i was 18. Time flies. She mentioned that i have changed. Changed in that i was now a lot happier. A reflection of how i was when i was 18. And yet, she knew that i had been hardened by a loss. And therefore, i would always be doing my best to not let any one enter my safe haven. Is she right? I guess.
Then, someone made this comment last night. Sometimes, when a person has the power to hurt you, its only because you give them that power. Or rather i gave them that power. So can i revert back that situation and make it seem like i don't need or want the person to hurt me, i guess i can. And yet, sometimes its harder then it seems. And yet, sometimes, you know for a fact that its just a matter of walking away.
I came up with this concept a couple of days back. That i make the choices and everyday is a brand new choice. And if we were to truly live in the present where the past does not matter and the future holds nothing, then basically, everyday of our lives can be idealistic. I mean think about this, if at this present moment, among the choices i have, i make the best use of my choices, haven't i already made the best of the world that i have? Interesting to me...
Anyway, people walk in and out of my life at such a rapid rate that sometimes i wonder what is it about people. I guess to a certain extent, maybe otheres are feeling the same about me. But there's nothing that i choose to do about it. I have also in time to come, notice that if i look at the positive intention behind every action, and how i can positively choose to react, then i will naturally become happier. Happiness btw is a concept. And therefore, how you want to define this concept is simply based on yoursself. Alright. Enough of this philosophical bullshit for one day. Till i write again...

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