Went retail therapy once again. Actually this is getting kinda excessive and ridiculous. I mean how can one person go for retail therapy so many times in a space of one month. Its costing considerable amounts of money and for a jobless person, CRAZY. It's funny how a particular person's reaction or rather lack of reactions can cause such an adverse reaction out of me. ITs tough to verbalize exactly how i feel. The fact was that i felt like i had received positive feedback from this 1 person. But then again, it might have been wishful thinking on my part. But i guess the question that lingers in my mind is that why agree to something and then change your mind? And doesn't changing your mind warrant you to at least share that change with me? I dropped him an sms finally after him refusing to reply my sms or even call. Or even appearing on msn. Sighz. And that was that even if we didn't sleep together, we would still be friends.
Funny how one course of action or single act has relegated him to the status of the common man. He's no longer someone i feel is totally genuine and real. And that again, is a matter of perspective. At the end of the day, i feel that he is a honey tongued man, sweet lips, and charming man. And yet, like every species of his kind, runs away or a avoid at the first sign of uncertainty. How then could he be above the pack? And aren't we good enough friends to warrant some truths? I know no one wants to know the truth.. But rather then avoid, i would have chosen to tell the truth. But then again, that's me. And How far can a friendship go without truths? And then, if it didn't mean anything in the first place, am i being to naive to even believe his words? And maybe the friendship doesn't really matter in the first place.
I've come to realize that being hurt, upset and disappointed is part and parcel of any relationship and friendship. Whether it is a platonic friend, a lover, a fuck budyy, or anything of the above. It will eventually hurt if you give the person an opportunity to hurt you. More often then not, its when you feel that this time round it's gg to be different that you give the person the power and authority to hurt you. I'll be lying if i said i wasn't hurt by his actions. And yet, it's controllable hurt coz i know the stakes when i offered to play the game. I choose my own responses just like life is a matter of calculated risks.
Tomorrow when i wake, i have a new choice all over again. I have a choice of how to react to this incident. Do we go on as friends or do i not? I mean, we do meet each other at social gatherings, and i guss i can make that choice right not. We'll carry on being friends. That's what.
Today i shared with a friend a concept. The past is the past. It's only important to draw valuable lessons. However, it's the present that is important. And if we let the past paralyse us, then we are no different from a dead person. THe present is all that matters really. The present leads us one step closer to the future of our dreams. Doesn't matter if we make the right choice or wrong choice. The right choice brings us one step closer. The wrong choice, tomorrow when we wake, we have the choice of turning things around and making new choices to bring us back closer to the goal or dream we have in view. With that in mind, it really doesn't matter that things didn't turn out the way it was meant to coz tomorrow is a brand new day! For that, i'm happier.
Things never were so tough when we were younger coz everyday was a brand new day. For that i'm thankful too. Thankful that tomorrow brings new opportunities and therefore i will be thankful when i wake in the morning coz some people don't even get tomorrows, RIGHT? Cheers
No comments:
Post a Comment