Saturday, October 29, 2005

Feelings in Hong Kong

Relaxing trip on the whole. Taking things easy i guess. Have not been shopping much coz nothing much has caught my fancy except 3 pairs of limited edition adidas shoes. And i guess its kinda crazy to buy all 3 pairs back. So, will spend some more time thinking about what to do, whether to buy or not.
He's here. For all the lack of confidence in him turning up or not turning up, i guess he's here. But, the feeling is different. We really act like a couple here and i'm not only talking about it being in the bedroom. But, i guess, something is different. I don't feel exceptionally special. Rather, i feel like i'm being used. Somehow, it feels that way. Like, why are you so nice to me? However, you lie to me. And why would you do something like that? And also, how come you can't be like that to me in SIngpapore. Is there someone else? And how come you tell me you are gg to Shanghai, and in actuality, you are not. ANd also, if you are not, how come you choose not to spend more time with me. And then complain when i say i want to go party with my cousins instead. I mean, i just want to spend some time with my cousins. And i know you want to spend time, but can't we do so in Singapore. Is it only possible to do so in a far away land? And if so, what are you trying to hide in Singapore? A girlfriend? A wife? Or maybe this is really a holiday fling. And if it is, then i would rather not move so close to you. Coz i will only be hurt at the end of the day. That much i know. I know that should i carry on this game with you, i will slap myself in the face eventually.
Anyway, Maybe i just seriously don't understand men. Let alone this mysterious man. Alright, will update more soon. Brain too dead to carry on. Need to nap a while before heading out to party a little.. Talk about double standards. You leave me alone in the hotel room at 9 plus, and say i play you out when i want to go party at 2. If you had spent time with me at 9 till 2, we would have gotten lots done. I should just stay off men. Shit.. till next time

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