I should be really glad that i'm going back to HK. But somehow, i don't feel all excited and cheery about it. I don't know if it's coz i really miss Darling already and am thinking of many many more days without him. Or i'm pretty broke now and won't enjoy the whole shopping experience as much. I guess there are loads that i look forward to in Hong Kong. Stuff like Krispy Kreme. Shopping at Mongkok, cheap bargains. Seeing the cousins, although now that they are married, will probably and have all moved out, would see them less. Honestly, i miss Darling. Ok. That must be it. I'm a little gloomy coz i'm thinking many many more days of not seeing him. Kinda weird i guess. Coz ever since we've known each other, we've practically seen each other every other day.
Finished packing, should be sleeping. But i wanted to write Darling an email. But he hasn't even replied my previous one. So not sure if i should be flooding his inbox. But i so very much want to tell him i miss him. I so very much want to hear his voice. Still thinking if i will go to the beach, or go to the swimming pool and whether i should pack my swimwear, or my gym gear. Ha.
Anyway, the evening was a pleasant one. Met up with TG for dinner at Reddot. Nice place. He has a knack for choosing all these really really quaint places that i adore. Anyway, we chatted, had dinner. It was basically a chill out session plus catching up session. He's going to be real busy the next 2 months before he flies off to Canada. And while we were out chatting, i've realized that i've missed his presence in my life. It's funny really. I miss his wise words, the way he puts things in perspective for me, and maybe also because of his depth of experience, he can always philosophize the things that i share with him about. Not so much miss his company but miss the bond that we used to have. He's always been like a mentor to me. And today, while dining, i noticed that he has once again aged a lot. I guess that happens often to men after their 50s. Each year seems to add on 10 years on their faces. Anyway, it's a pity he's going to KL and Indonesia the next couple of days and won't return to Hong Kong until after i get back. If not we could probably do dinner and drinks back in Hong Kong. TG was a little emo tonight as well. Haven't seen him like this for a while now. I guess age really is catching up on him and he made this statement that while you have been fighting this battle all your life, when you grow older, it naturally comes out.
He was sharing with me that during dinner with his colleagues earlier on this week, he asked to say some stuff and share some of his thoughts and he caused quite a couple of them to cry. I guess my take of TG hasn't changed after all these years. He's just a soft man with a hard exterior. I remember all those times when he patiently guided me through my problems. How he always manages to calm me down after a horrid session with the boss or at work. Conflict with friends. How he patiently listened to me over the phone while i was debating the pros and cons of leaving the industry. How he encouraged me constantly to better myself. How he teases me about the men that i date and my consistently bad choices of men. Anyway, he was pretty emo tonight and i guess maybe, just maybe, he's been flying around so much for the last 12 years, that he's come to realize that no where is really called home. And end of the day, home is really just being around with the people who care deeply about you and you wanting to help them grow and see them successful. I'm glad his luncheon has managed to make him see what i have failed to make him see all these years. I guess that's life. Brings you on a journey only to bring you back to the starting point when the time is right and when the lessons need to be learnt. I'm glad for him. Glad that he's beginning to open himself up and see that the world is not such a hard and cruel place after all. =) Maybe i need to be schooled in that lesson as well?
Oh well, time to hit the sack. 4 hrs of sleep. Hope my Darling text me tomorrow. Torn really. Between the need to protect him and the want to just text him at free will. But i guess, needs triumph over wants on any day. Nitey Nitez.