Maybe i am too ignorant to even claim that i have loved. Or to have really loved a person. Maybe i've never loved. I just believe i have. Love is such a huge concept. Over rated if you ask the cynic within me. But more importantly, how does a person define love, understand love and at which point do you know you love a person. Many a times, our backgrounds, our understanding of things stems from the way and manner in which we were brought up. I guess i have a very utopia view about love. Yes, many people have told me once that it is impossible. And as time hardens to me, i feel too that there is no such love out there. But the interesting thing is that i've never expected my partner to attain that sort of utopia love. This utopia love is solely my personal benchmark.
I guess the conundrum is this. To love in my current relationship, i have heard the requests to be understanding. And at times when i feel strong and confident, i can gently remind myself of that. But in the instances that i am feeling insecure, lost, scared, the following question pops up in my head. And who would understand me? But i know i'm going to be giving my darn best. Not only because i have spoken the words out loud. But also because, if anything, i want to walk away knowing i've touched someone's life and someone's life is a little brighter because i've walked into their lives, even if it was for the briefest of moments.
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