Tuesday, August 26, 2008

My words

Another one of those days that i have been unable to come up with any concrete solutions. In fact, i feel like things have taken a turn for the worse since i have returned back from HK. Sure, life goes on. Sure, at the end of the day, we'll probably look back at all the things we are facing right now and have a good laugh about things and wonder why we were so worried about it in the first. Or we might just end things because it is just too tiring, too pointless to strive to take another step forward when there is nothing infront to look forward to.
I guess in many ways, our relationship is at the stage where we are deciding whether we should take the first step into the desert. What is in the desert? Why would you want to go to the bloody desert for? The trials, the uphill task is just too great even if someone casually mentioned that the view might be spectacular. But the point is this. How can it be verified? At this point of time, we only have a vague idea that if we lug our heavy laden backpacks and set off in the desert, we might find some spectacular sight and at the end of the arduous journey, our efforts, time, sweat,tears would all be paid off. But the question that we have to ask ourselves is this. Is it really wise to take off on a whim and fancy, when end of the day, we might not live to see the setting sun?
That while in the desert, faced with all the adversities and dangers that the desert has in stored, will we die of dehydration, will we run out of food and water, will we lose our way, will we die of heat stroke, will we be devoured by wild animals that roam the desert and if we survive all those, will we see that supposed spectacular sight. Or are the odds so badly stacked against us that we might as well give up right now, laugh about the fact that we once had such a silly dream. A dream that might or might not have worked out and be pleased by the fact that for a while, even if it was a really short while, we transported ourselves from the grim world and life we lived in and managed to indulge in our fantasies?
I guess end of the day, i wouldn't know would i? I also know that i really 动真情 at the end of the day. I suppose there is this chinese saying that i find is a summary of all my relationships till date. 不在乎天长地久,只在乎成经拥有。I guess maybe it's just coz i haven't met the correct guy just yet. I'm sure i will one day. But if i don't, then at least i can say it's better to have loved and to fail then not to have loved at all.
Truth is, i really did fall in love. =)

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