Took the day off to shop for Christmas presents. No prizes for guessing who's present i bought first. Yup. Headed to Toys'R'Us to buy him an I dog. Wanted to wait and see if i could find other colours. But he said white would do. And stocks were running low. According to the store sales person, its really popular among the kids. Faint.. guess i'm interested in an overgrown kid.
Anyway, he told me that they have it in different colors in Hong Kong. Sighz. Don't mind going back to Hong Kong to buy him his present. But i guess that's the life for the rich. Will check to see if ebay has it, or any stores in Singapore carry other colors. Then at least his present will be unique. Doubt it'll be much of a surprise if he already knows what present he will be getting.
Got a couple more presents to buy, but not sure if i can afford everything. SIghz.. Wish i was stil having a normal paying job. This commission thing ain't working out too well for me. Will stick around though. At least that was what i promised myself.
Anyway, i wonder what he'll be getting me for christmas. As well as bro. Both are keeping mum about it. Then again, its nicer getting a present that i don't know of. Short of him presenting himself gift wrapped to me, i can't really think of anything that i really want.
I really wanted to spend Christmas with him. But he's going to Hong Kong and i guess he doesn't want to spend Christmas with me. Frankly, it doesn't really matter what present he gets. It's his presence that means more. Its like, exchanging gifts is just an excuse to see him and spend some time together. And yet, at times, i feel like i'm forcing an issue. If he was seriously even remotely interested in me, he would have agreed to be my boyfriend ages ago. And the fact that he hasn't speaks volumes.
Anyway, i guess somehow, at the deepest bottom of my heart, i wonder why is it so difficult sometimes. I know i want him to be happy. Just wondering why can't we both be happy at the same time. Oh well, i can only go on wishing and hoping. Maybe one day, my wish will come true. Signing off
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