One wish for Christmas. What would it be?

Below is an excerpt
A: If there was one thing you can have from Christmas. What would it be?
B: Well, what sort of question is that?
A: What was something that you wanted for Christmas but didn't get?
B: You?
A: Something material..
B: Nothing in mind i guess...

Yup. He has returned and seeing him was worth more then any present anyone could have given me. And i guess if he was a genie and he could grant me any wish, then it was the wish i made way before Christmas. I wish i could cuddle up next to him and just spend some time together. But, we do not live in a world where we have genies. So no one is going to grant me that wish.
Funny how all my life growing up, i realise that i've never really wanted a present very much. I've always wanted someone's presence more. When Guardian and i were together, somehow or rather, we always seem to miss the occassions. And when we finally broke up and were still seeing each other on and off, i remember him asking me each year what i wanted for Christmas. There were so many gifts, to always make up for the fact that he had to spend Christmas with his girlfriend then, and when he got married, the gifts became more costly. Maybe from the fact that he knew all i wanted for Christmas was to spend time with him. I remember the palm, the necklace, the watch, the sponsered trip to Bangkok(without him of course). The list goes on.
And the only present i really wanted, was his presence. And years later, a sucker i still am. Not so much Guardian now, but for this other guy. I cannot understand my fascination for him. Maybe its merely a crush. Maybe its infatuation. Maybe i'm in love. But every arrow, not cupid's. But directional arrows, tell me that i'm going down the wrong road. And there are days where i wish i could snap out of it. And yet, his very presence brings a smile to my face and a frown to my heart. Oh what utter dilemma this has turned out to be.

You know what i loved best about what he gave me for Christmas? It was a card he made. That was better then the two presents he gave me. Something so simple, yet it means the most. Maybe coz it took time. And time is something that i feel i seldom get from him. It has been 20 days since we last met. And, i guess i really just wanted to spend more time with him. And yet, that was too tough. I sat with him in his car and drove from Orchard to Suntec coz he said he had to get something from office. That extra 5 minutes was worth the bus trip back to Orchard once again to pick up my bike. And its times like these where i appreciate even the additional 5 minutes.
Somehow, i feel like i'm building my own sandcastles, and when the next tide comes in, it will all get washed away. And i will be there to stare out at the waves and wonder how something so beautiful and magnificant can also be so deadly. How falling in love with him could be the bane of my life. Make believe? Perharps. Not even sure if i need to make new year resolutions this year. I never seem to keep them anyway.