Monday, April 28, 2008

The things i lack

I should be attempting to finish up my work as fast as possible, head home, change and head for swim training. But instead, i am still sitting here, with huge amount of work not done, the prospect of another long night at work and best of all BLOGGING!
Alright. I admit. I have lousy time management. And really bad judgment of time. Like whenever i come into office at 2pm, after lunch appointment, thinking that i'll be out by 4pm, with my work done up, it never happens. Just like when i say i'm just popping by office to pick some stuff up and i'm out of there, never happens. Why? Hmm.. Its something that i really want to know as well.
I guess i can think of many many reasons, and all of them stem from the lack of discipline. Like when i'm in office and someone else asks me to help with something, i hardly say no. Although i know it takes time away from the stuff that i need to get done, i can't seem to say no. I have to finish this and rush off. Instead, i'll get dragged away for some time, and when i get back, a round of chit chat, walking to the water cooler, going for a smoke, and suddenly i realise it's time for my next appointment. And i have yet to get anything done. And so, after my appointment, again i head into office, and the same thing happens again and again. The only time i ever get any work done is late in the evening after dinner appointments. When there is practically no one else in office except me. That's when the work gets completed. Damn...
And that's not the only thing i seem to have a problem with. Besides horrid time management and judgment of time, i also cannot seem to keep my table top cleared of items, papers etc. I allocate a day a week to do clear all paperwork, clear up the desk etc, and it seems that before the allocated day of the week, the table is already in a huge mess and i have to spend time clearing up the stuff. Once, i tried to cheat and dumped all the stuff in my cupboard in a file, thinking i'll clear the file on paperwork day. Never happened. And the papers keep accumulating and suddenly, one day, while i'm opening my cupboard, i realise that i've built quite a huge mess. That doesn't look like my cupboard at all.. Hmmm
But i think that the thing that irritates me most about myself and i am able to identify it, is that i lack discipline. I think that one word sums up the problems i'm facing today and every day. I seem to be constantly running out of time, having a huge backlog at work, not getting things done, running late etc.
Here's a typical day. I've set the alarm at 6am. I wake up at 6.15am. Coz i spent 15 minutes snoozing. And the rest of the day is typically summed up by this 15 minute gap. Sure, i can cut short my run time by 15 minutes, and make up the rest of my schedule. But somehow, even if i cut short the run, run shorter distance, less, there still seems to be a 15 minute gap that i'm trying to catch up with the whole day. To make matters worse, the gap increases with each activity that i do the whole day. So by evening time, when i have an appointment, i realise i have to push it back by sometimes about an hour.
So, i reassess all the things that i've done till date, and asked myself just what was wrong. And i'm thinking what i lack in is discipline, peppered with a huge tolerance for procrastination, plus the lack of urgency. I have tried different methods, but have come to realize i'm quite a scatterbrain. So, i've resorted to writing out a list of things i need to do, preferably in steps every morning and the time line for everything. And i do my darnest to keep to the timeline, and yet, i am still off schedule. I've tried to allocate more time for activities and even factor in time to go to the toilet, to smoke on the hour. I've tested out this theory all week last week, and i am still behind. Of course along the way, there is this little voice at the back of my mind that says, eh, never mind lah. As long as things get done eventually, doesn't really matter. But it still irritates me. And so, for the whole of this week and next, i will keep to my timings and see if it improves.
Funny, but i think i need to work out a reward and 'punishment' thingee for myself and maybe that will spur me to keep to my timings better and work towards clearing my to-do list everyday. And therefore, leave me more time over the weekend to do the things i really want to do, read a book or chill out, without having to see a long list of to-do items that never seem to get struck off my list. =)

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