I didn't write before i slept last night, not because i was tired. Not because i was lazy. But coz i wanted some time to think. Went for training with some of the runners last night. We were doing easy track work as with Tuesday. Exact same workout. Only difference is there is a drop in timing. So, did 1200m warm up. Then 4*800m run. (4.45,4.50,4.51,DNF)
Basically that were the splits for each of the set. Why didn't i complete the last set? Well, my msn title says it all. Its all in the state of mind. In the middle of my fourth set, a question suddenly came into my mind and that was the end of my run. I asked myself, why was i doing this? The reason behind why i wanted to do a marathon or triathlon. Maybe it was coz i was tired during the run that i had no instant answers. But after a night of rest plus a easy swim just now, i still have no answers.
And the scary thing is, as long as i don't have an answer, i am so not motivated to train. And my mind keeps quitting on me.
So, the question to ask is WHY i decided to do a marathon and biathlon and triathlon this year?
I have a couple of ideas, but since i am rushing out for lunch appointment, i will update this later =)
Oki. Back from lunch appointment. Got the sales. Means some money for next week at least. But here's the contiunation in the morning. I woke up early and swam. Classification of swim would be, light, easy and basically not training. I'm not sure if i'm just exhausted from the trainings that i've been doing, or the lack of training this week and thats why the body is feeling quite lethargic. I guess i'm actually unsure if its tiredness or lethargy. Or that the more i question myself, the more unsure i am.
I'm doing my best to recall why i wanted to do a triathlon/biathlon, the marathon. But i can't seem to figure it out. Maybe it was like a follow up when i was younger. Like coz i ran and swam quite a bit, and it was a natural progression. Or maybe then, i always thought it was way cool to push myself to the limits and see how much i could take. Or maybe coz i just wanted to compete in any stuff that i could compete in at that point. But, now, i'm not so sure anymore. Why do i want to do it? It was in 2000 where i first found interest in the biathlon. Coz NUS organised one every year. But i never got down to doing it then coz i was already bz with track, netball, rugby. And not forgetting the 6 hall games i was involved in, 2 varsity sports, 2 national training squads. I think that was all the time i had then. And i was at my peak in my running and swimming then, and thus thought it would be easy to just combine the two.
Now, 8 years on, i would say i am as unfit as can be, and i am not sure why i want to put myself through it. Maybe i'll get some inspiration from others stories. But i think end of the day, i would first have to sort out my own feelings and thoughts before i can move on.
My current week training has been in the dumps.. And i'm feeling even more tired mentally coz i am constantly trying to convince myself and do the workouts. =(
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