Seems like a practice to take interesting excerpts from other people's blog. My friend discussed this topic with me some time back where i was super frustrated about the lack of movment in things. I have taken the liberty to take out portions of her blog and inserted som e of my own insights and feelings. This currency theory of hers really does make me think about the manner in which people are so similar yet so different at the same time.
"Interesting how I see things but I came to realized a long time a long that the capacity to trust to give is different with each individual. n well though the currency value that I receive might be different from what I have given, am I then being shortchanged? Perhaps not... I do not believe that I am shortchanged just for the unique way I weigh it, I guess. The first part of the theory stimulates that everyone has a one hundred dollars in their life that they have to divide between family, friends, Lovers n self n each person will choose to spend it differently depending on wat their priorities n their values in life are. N out of this one hundred it is then further sub-divided into individuals in that category. I shared half the theory but not how I link to life just because I feel it is a little well weird maybe...It draws back to the Bible when a rich man gave a huge amount to the church n a poor lady gave a pitiful amount as compared to him... But Jesus said that the lady would be blessed for she gave all that she had left.Perhaps the parallels may seem ridiculous to many but this is how I see things ...For a simple reason ppl due to prior life experiences n well ideologies, people will always have different capabilities to give. N at the end of the day all I need is to know is they tried for it is not the amount but the effort. N undue expectations will only result in undue pain. Simple equation but sometimes hard."
This theory has been evident in my life recently. I guess its mainly coz of late, i have been questioning the value of worth. A friend also shared with me that as friends, you give your all, or rather all you can muster at that moment and not question whether the person will have anything to give you back in return. But let's face it, how many times will you keep on giving and getting neither the joy of friendship or the understanding from a friend. How many times will you go knocking on a door before u finally give up and realize that that particular door won't open for you?
For a while now, i've been giving my undivided attention to a particular man in my life. For a long time, i've been wondering why with my 100% theory, nothing gets through to him. Over the weekend, i came to a revelation. For all that he is and all that he wants in life, we have different priorities and values in life. Our view and our approach to each other was in fact different. But did it make him less of a friend in my eyes, i know for now that this is not true.
Over the weekend, with that revelation in mind, i have come to treasure this friend even more. I have come to realize for all the aloofness that he protrays on the outside, he valued me as a friend. And for that, i am less sure of my initial decision. He is extremely sensible and intelligent. And now, after the weekend has passed, i realize what his fears are built on. Somehow, he has projected the fears onto me and now, i am scared. Fearful that it would be by my own hands that i spoil something so beautiful, so innocent and even angelic.
I've shared often enough that life is a constant gamble. But any half asses business person would tell you to place your stakes on something that has a higher probability. And in the event that you can't or you are unsure, leave that bet for another day. A true master in gambling knows when to walk away. Somehow, i am hesitant to walk away, and yet, i wish i had a crystal ball that would reveal to me what my decisions and actions will result in. And would my rational fears be unfounded? Or would i eventually give thanks for listening to my head and not my heart for once?
I wished i could ask him for his advice.. But seriously, this seems sort of silly as it involves him. Another part of me worries that this will change our friendship as on certain levels, i can no longer talk to him about him. Would that be the case? Would this man see me with a mask on? Or would he see the real me. Would he feel that i'm too clingy when i approach him about problems? Or would he take it that my considerations are silly. Will i no longer be able to share with him my thoughts and views for fear of the way he might view me? So many considerations, so little answers.
Status quo is good. Status quo is for those that are fearful of making the next step. But inherently, is there anything wrong with the status quo?
No comments:
Post a Comment