And so it continues

Haa... Was rudely awakened when they were fighting early in the morning. I wonder how they do it and how it's done. I wonder where they find that well and reserve to keep this up day after day after day. Why? Why? I wish sometimes i could just not care. That i could lock myself up in my room and pretend that what goes on outside my door is not the real world, that it doesn't exist. But it is way too real. That while i am sitting in my room, i will get worried. I will get anxious. That one of them will finally lose their head, lose their cool. Maybe i'm wrong. Maybe what they have between them is no longer love, but hate. The want to make each other as miserable as possible.
I look at my mum and very often whether character traits are passed through genes. I wonder whether i too would someday be like her. And that very thought scares me. It makes me want to stay as far away from relationships as possible. Or maybe, through what she does, it makes me want to walk further away from who and what she is, and probably that's why i'm more like Dad in a relationship. And yet, it isn't necessarily a good thing to be like Dad. Coz i suppose it is just too much effort, too much work.
I often look at a couple and ask myself whether i think the relationship will last. But who knows what the answer would be? Really. How do you know? I guess especially so when the relationship is not based on very concrete beliefs and the want and desire to grow together. But then again, they have. For close to 40 years, they have had a want and desire to build something and grow together. So what changed? Was it feelings that changed? Was it that over time, someone was moving forward, while the other got left behind? Or was it simply that while they had started out on the same road initially, they were actually walking down twin forks, and one day when they looked to the side, they realized that the gulf between them was too huge to bridge.
If all relationships were like that, then i'll rather stay in the dating stage forever. I would rather both of us be on our best behavior and are forever not getting enough of each other. Then when we meet, it's because we both truly want to. Last night over the radio, i heard this one listener say, love is, seeing her everyday and yet, feeling like you haven't really seen her enough. I guess its the want to be with each other, to be close to each other, without imposing. Is that really possible? Over time, do people become more demanding, more possessive? That instead of the dating stage where both parties were asking, what else can i give him/her, it has not become what else can he/she give me. Sad isn't it?
Or maybe i'm just a cynic. And so the cycle continues.