Simple question for a simple minded person like me. So my very straightforward answer to this question would be YES. I've played many games in my life. From playing catching while i was a kid, and a hosts of other children invented games. Played hopsotch, played five stones, zero point, one leg, rounders and frisbee in primary school. And as i grew older, other games like basketball, soccer, netball.
There was only 1 thing in common in all the games that i've ever played. And that all games have rules. Ok. There are probably other stuff that are common in the games that i've ever played. On top of having rules, mostly it takes above 1 person for the game to be played with some satisfaction. But my post today is about that one singular similarity in the games we play.
Before anyone plays any games, there is the most important thing of knowing what the rules of the game are. What scores you points, what doesn't. In the ball games that i've played, i would have to know how many players on each side. Games can be modified from time to time. But the rules will always be the basis of how the game is played. Like how many players, what can be done, cannot be done. What warrants a red card, a yellow card. What gets you kicked out of the game. Or how long the game must be played for a winner to be determined.
Now imagine playing a game of netball. There are 7 players a side. There are 5 reserves usually, and there can only be 3 change of players throughout the whole game. 4 quarters are being played, each quarter is 10minutes long. On top of that, there are the endless rules within the game itself. Like no dribbling, no close pass, no body contact etc. So with the set of rules drawn up, the players know what to expect. And what can or cannot be done. Let's just say, somewhere along the way, 1 group feels that they would like to change the game. If both groups, after listening to the changes of rules and how the game must now be played is agreeable, then once again, a game can be played. But if one group is disagreeable, then once again, we have to modify and make changes so that a consensus can be reached.
Now let's just say once again, that after numerous changes, no consensus has been reached. Then no game can be played. And that is probably the end of the whatever shortlived game there was.
For lack of a better word, i sometimes feel that relationships are very much like the games we play. Maybe saying that a relationship is a game we play has some negative connotations to it. But what i'm saying is that often, when people just meet and get into a relationship, because of the intensity and the passion and the want to be together, they forget to define the boundaries of the relationship. The boundaries of the relationship is probably akin to court space of your netball, basketball game or the perimeter of your soccer pitch. And the expectations and things that are required to sustain any given relationship would be like the rules of your games. There are games with a time frame and those that don't. So in a way, relationships are also like that. Some relationships last a lifetime, while some last for a month, 3 months, 6 months etc. While some relationships last that long, some people also state a specific time for a change to happen. Something that they expect.
So let's go back to the game. In any given game, someone came up with the rules a long time back. Meaning before this game was ever played for the first time, someone said, hey, you can do this, you can't do that etc. And in a relationship as well, there would be a more dominant person and a more submissive person. Not in the sexual manner you are probably thinking about. But more likely there will be a person who leads the relationship, and sets the boundaries and rules. Well done to those who have managed to find the balance between the two and come together for a compromise. And there are those who cannot reach a compromise and soon part ways. Such is a relationship. And so, i think many a time, a relationship is like a game. Why else would you constantly hear words like, mind game, mental game, games of the heart etc?
Anyway, the above posting is just food for thought. =)
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