Well, in the longest 12km walk i've ever taken, because of the pain in the arch, the foot, the shins, the toes (blisters), the ITB, the hams and the quads, basically hips downward, i did think of many things.
Will share with you some of the things that ran through my mind in the longest longest walk i ever had. Or rather in the longest longest limp i ever did. =P The first was a reflection of the race in general. I had to ask myself just how ill prepared i was for the race. Not only because i was sick for a week prior to race, so didn't even get a chance to do any runs the whole week, but rather, it being a rather late and last minute decision. And i realized at that point of time, i had been more disciplined and been running consistently, then whether it was a last minute decision would not have been very important as i would still be adequately prepared. One of those when opportunity comes knocking, am i prepared to face the challenge or would i have to back away from it.
Ok, second thing that came to mind was also, that with good planning in race nutrition, diet, and all the stuff that people needed on the race, i would probably not have cramped up at the 30km mark. And also heading to the race site late, not enough stretching etc. I think all in all, it was a bad race to start with because of so many uncertain factors and lack of good pre race preparation and planning! I guess i asked myself many times throughout the 12km struggle whether i would do it again. And honestly, throughout the whole 12km, my answer was NO! I would never want to put myself through that kind of torture again! But after coming home and resting, although the cough and cough has gotten much worse after being caught in the rain, my answer is Yes! I would do it again! But i would do it differently. Yes, i am still in a lot of pain, my knees are swollen, i have bruises on my feet. Every movement i make is really painful. But how many times in real life do you get a second chance? And the best part about this is that i get to plan and prepare for my second chance and i get to do it all over again, and hopefully with the lessons i've learnt from my first marathon, i will do better in my next marathon. So, yup, you'll see me race another marathon with hopefully a more respectable timing this time round!
I think many times in life, if i can use this run as an analogy to life, we fail to do as well as we would like to due to bad planning and preparation. I think all things are possible to do. But if you want to get things done, then there must be some amount of hard work, some amount of preparation, careful planning and the most important factor, commitment to the thing you want to do, to put in the hours. Not so much a whim of the moment and go do it. Sure, i still managed to complete the marathon. But with so much more pain as compared to being able to enjoy the race. So, life is like that. Some people fret over things and get upset, don't enjoy the process because they are not as prepared as they can be. And i'm glad i learnt this lesson although i might be wobbling around like a crab the next couple of days! I'm not only talking about planning of the race, but planning the race calendar as well. i have no idea how i'm going to race again next Sunday! Hehe
The other thing i had time to think long and hard about is my newest relationship. I know a spark can cause a huge fire. And love is like that in many ways. One day, you just have a little chemistry, and the next, you're in a whirlwind of a relationship. I know i've made things tough on this new guy that i'm dating with my 1 million and 1 issues that i have inside me. I'm probably one of those high on emotional baggage people. But i'm glad he's been understanding and patient about it. And while i was struggling to complete my race, i asked myself whether sometimes, i'm just being way too difficult. That i often don't give people and things around me a chance because i've always been too stubborn. Too strong headed. That even if there is a possibility that he might not be genuine, for me to just fall in love without a care and fall head over heels in love and enjoy the process. After all, who is to know if he'll remain true? And if he's out to play with my heart, then life goes on still. But i would then be able to look back and said i enjoyed the moments and the memories!
I suppose it's usually easier said then done. While i was running the race, i was so scared i wouldn't be able to complete it. At one point close to the 35km mark, i sat down, pulled off my shoes and socks and saw the blisters accumulating at my toes. It hurt like hell and i wanted to cry. But i also wanted to be strong and finish the race. Didn't want to be the only person who DNF. And i guess if i can liken my race to that of a relationship, then even if one day, i find out that he's cheating me or playing with my heart, or that it was all just a game to him, then i would feel the hurt and pain, and feel being alone like at the 35km mark and wanted to cry, but then i would still eventually get over the pain if i wanted to make it to the finish point. Sure it'll hurt for probably quite a while. But i'll still live. I'll survive. Right?
Anyway, that was some of the things i thought about throughout my race. The emphasis on the former part of the posting. While the latter was more like a mind distraction to the pain. Being in love helps you overcome many obstacles and keeps your attention diverted away from the physical pain. But i always believe pain is good. Makes you alive in the queerest of ways!
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