Hehehe

Alright. Can't think of a title, so decided the title would reflect my mood. And although it's super duper late. But i can't resist posting before heading to bed. =)
My originally very average and a little on the emotional downside weekend ended on a high note. So i guess i can't complain eh? Managed to move things to Kor's place and also play mahjong!
So after this afternoon's post, i started moving things to Kor's place. Already the sms for mahjong had come in earlier and i was actually debating whether i wanted to go play mahjong or would he meet up with me tonight. After much consideration, i decided to head off to play mahjong at Jon's shop. After all, with the emotional roller coaster ride i had with him all weekend, was kinda expecting us not to meet up.
Guess what i had for dinner? At the exact same place i had lunch this afternoon. By dinner time, my mood had considerably improved. Guess food does wonders for me still. Anyway, lunch i had the botak burger, then dinner i had my steak. So, was in a rather good mood already. After that, i headed down to Jon's shop. By the first 'dong' i had already lost close to $80. Whoa... Was a little disappointed with the cards actually. But to cut a really long story short, i won at the end of the night. Hehe. Won $65 in total. Although haven't collected money since no one except me brings money to the shop since i always seem to be the only one who loses anyway. So, i have credit when i play mahjong the next time. I can't quite decide if i believe in a lucky someone or based on the law of averages, it was about time i won. But then again, before my friend came, i was close to buying more chips. So either it was a serious coincidence in timing, or there really is such a thing as a lucky someone in the world.
So other then the fact that i had a pretty decent night at mahjong, why am i feeling so gleeful?
The whole weekend was sort of topsy turvy, sort of riding on the roller coaster emotionally. I actually was prepared not to see him the whole weekend as i had posted earlier. So it was a really really pleasant surprise and really made me glad that he made time to see me on both days this weekend. But the funny thing was that while we were out, i felt that he was really cold towards me. Sort of like, even when we hugged and kissed, he was pushing me away emotionally. I can't quite explain to you how i felt this way, but i just did. And i guess that left me confused, scared and upset. Somehow i felt that he must have wanted to see this weekend for him to ask me to accompany him for his work. And yet, when i saw him, i felt like he was there physically with me, going through the motion and emotionally was pushing me away. Sounds weird i know. But it really really got to me. I didn't understand why that was so. Already on Saturday night, i was very disturbed by it. And my mood was horrid. Which was also one of the reasons why i didn't race this morning. Coz everything suddenly felt wrong.
Ok. I admit. I am and have always been someone who is very emotional. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. I can be the most rational and cool person when it comes to any other things. But when it comes to the men in my life and when my heart is at stake, my emotions win over the head any time, any day. Maybe it's coz i've never had a relationship that really ever worked out. And therefore, i probably have a lot more emotional baggage as compared to others. And because i'm a taurus, i take time to warm up to people and things. And one of the things that scare me is when i get emotionally close to people. Coz i know then, that they have the power to hurt me. So i've always been pretty careful about opening my heart to people.
Anyway, i'm glad we cleared the air between us earlier on this evening. Sort of at least. It's a little tough to clear the air while smsing. But had no choice coz already promised Jon to go play mahjong. Wanted to meet up with him when he asked if we could meet up. Plus his sms sounded like he wanted to end things between us. Anyway, he came down to look for me while i was playing mahjong. When he reached Jon's shop after searching quite long for it, i started winning. So in a way, he is my lucky star. Hehe... And i went on to recoup all my losses. But that was not why i was very happy. I was glad for his presence. Not just at Jon's shop. But for him being in my life. Alright. I'm rambling now. Will go write him an email instead. Tough to blog about it. Just know that the weekend went well for me, and that it ended on a high note!