Many a times, we tell our partners that we want the honest truth. That we want to know what's going on in the heart and mind of our partners. Very often, we want to know what makes our partners tick. What makes them react to things the way they do. What makes them happy, what makes them sad.
Today, call it a twist of fate. I came home in the evening after hanging out Darling, in time to catch the show behind closed doors. And the topic of the day was bigamy. The act of entering into a marriage with someone while still being legally married to someone else. On the show, the host was asking, why do people do that? Like why not just date a person, have an affair etc. And this psychologist was commenting that many people after getting married forget their wedding vows although at that very point of time, when they recited the vows, they meant it. But things change and circumstances change. And people begin to take their wedding vows lightly after a while. Maybe i'm not doing a great job in expressing the opinions in the show. But i felt that what he said was very apt.
It's very interesting i guess. Like i know i've never cheated on my partner before. No matter who i was dating. I guess only because i know and have experienced the pain of being cheated on. And therefore feel that it is not right to put someone through such pain. I also know for a fact that my heart can only love 1 person at any one time. And i choose by choice to remain faithful to the man that i am with. But i guess therein lies another problem. Because of the fact that i adore my partner and just want to do all things to please him and make him happy, along the way, i sometimes feel that i lose a little bit of myself and my life.
In the show, the psychologist said that very often, it is the girl, the 3rd party who asks for marriage because no one can wait for a person indefinitely. And how true. I was thinking interesting! When i heard this topic. Coz just earlier on in the night, the same topic came up. I guess in any relationship, certain promises have to be made. And kept for that matter. Just like, eventually, there will be a level of expectation that needs to be fulfilled. I remember telling Darling earlier on in the evening, if one day, he was sent to Alaska to work and he left with the promise that after he had finish his 10 year contract, he would be back and would still love me as much if not more then when he left, then at least there is a time frame. That there is something to look forward to... something to make each day more bearable. And that also brings me to why that last thing that flew out of pandora's box was so important. Because, if there is no hope, then it is already a lost cause. And if it is a lost cause, then why waste your time and energy fighting this battle? Save your energy for something that can have a higher potential at the end of the day.
I remember someone telling me once that the mark of a matured person is one who knows how to choose his/her battles wisely. Which ones to fight and which ones not to. But often for me, the mind is willing, the heart is not. And generally, my heart trumps my head. But at this point of time, is it honestly better to kill my hopes with the wave of a hand, so that i may hurt for a while and subsequently move on, or give me some hope, so that i can still live each day with zest and passion, knowing that that might be something there....
Very often, the truth hurts. Question then is, can you handle the truth?