Saturday, July 19, 2008

Not so bright Friday

I guess it's always been the case for me. Monday sorts of determines how the rest of the week progresses. I suppose it could be all in the mind. Something like a self fulfilling prophecy. Not sure. But Friday was another low for me. I guess this week, there were a lot more lows then highs.
I also suppose it's due to the face that problems are carried over each day this week. Unresolved issues. And while they remained unresolved, i don't feel any better. Only good thing that happened today was that the air tickets are out, which means i'm heading for a holiday soon with my Darling. Counting down the days, 4 more days! Yippie!
That's the highlight for the day.
Now for the lows.
Went to office at 11am this morning. As usual, 4 people turned up for meeting. I suppose for the life of me, i cannot understand why this is the case. Why do people constantly not turn up for meeting? I can understand that for once or twice, something crops up, you can't make it. But every time? Or even saying you'll turn up and then not turn up? Supposed to go through writing of PFR today. Technically, i don't have to be there. Since i already know how to write the PFR. But, manager says team meeting, ask for sales figures. So i go lor. In the end, never even ask for sales figures, never even have a decent meeting. As usual, he talk and talk and talk, and nothing gets concluded and done. So say, because of the lack of turn out, must meet again next week. But what's the point, when after all, it'll be the same 4 people who turn up while the rest play hide and seek with us?
Then supposed to have another meeting with Faroque and Kumar to settle the customer complaint. Then Faroque called at 1 to ask if can push back the meeting. Kumar happily agreed coz still talking. So, let Kumar carry on talking. Then Faroque met me for a while, then ask me some stuff, say will call client on my behalf. Ask me don't so naive in future. Take everything client say at face value. No conclusion to this problem once again. But, maybe Monday i will find out what transpired between Head Office and Client. But still doesn't take the weight off my mind about what actions will be taken after this since i now know that the email was cc to MANY people. I guess i am disappointed to say the least. I would have to do some serious reflection. And i believe this is something that could have been avoided if i had handled the situation differently. Oh well.. lesson learned.
Then met Darling before heading in to Club. Our meeting started off well, other then the fact that it was race day and his hp was beeping non stop. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was when we were about to leave for club, something happened, he got upset with me. And i suppose i also didn't know exactly what i did wrong. Why he suddenly turn so upset. And it bothered me. Then he said something really sarcastic to me and i felt pretty hurt i guess. =( And we didn't get a chance to resolve it coz i knew he was still angry when he left. And we were both angry in our own ways. So didn't managed to get it settled before heading to club. Aiya, i also dun know lah. I admit i have a lot of baggage. But i remember last time, whenever Guardian was unhappy or angry with me, sure break up one. So i was sad then. I know Darling is different. And i really feel that Darling love me in a different way. But, somehow, i freaked out in the evening. I didn't know why he was angry or upset. I didn't know what i said or did.
Anyway, we sorta settled the problem. He said next time race day don't want to see me. It wasn't a discussion, so i guess whatever he says goes. I felt that there wasn't an option given in his sms to me. Then he sms to tell me why he was upset/angry. I can't take back what happened. But i know i didn't mean things to end up that way. But it did. Then what can i say? Anyway, i didn't realize how much Darling affected me until en-route to club, i made a really bad judgment and almost crashed. I managed to do an emergency break in time to avoid crashing into the car. Was damn scared for a while. At that very second, i thought this was it man. I jammed both my brakes damn hard. The back was skidding already. Sighz
So now i know, if Darling and i fight, i better don't ride after that. Coz i get reckless and careless. And it was damn scary lor. Anyway, i suppose the thing was that i didn't crash and i was fine. So after that, then i go club. Had some pretty good tips today. But felt that whole day had just been one hell of a low day. Better don't gamble. Like maybe i quite weird. I will feel that when i gamble, i must be feeling alright. If not then no luck to gamble one. But when feel lousy, people give good tips also never buy. So lose-lose situation. Maybe if just now gamble, then win money also happy. But also, recently like quite tight. Then thought i'll rather save the money instead of gambling.
Darling and I talked a little at club. On the surface things look fine. But i must admit it's still bugging me a little. I also don't know exactly which part is bugging me. But it is. Anyway, off to Port Dickson come morning. Am almost 80% certain i will race. I just hope the race goes smoothly. Not aiming for any particular timing for this race. Aim is to complete.
Tired. Going to bed. Crappy day means more sleep time needed to shorten the days!

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